Love Is All You Need

Why is letting go such a difficult  process?

Most soulful ballads are about the pain of letting go of an unrequited love, of a lost love, death of a loved one.

Holding onto grief, sorrow is treasured, we can never accept another's kind words when they ask us to let go.

Letting go of something /someone you love is never easy.

But sometimes it is necessary to help the other person grow and lead a better life, holding on to them only holds them back.

We Indians are familiar with the difficulty in letting go, we are by nature hoarders. 

Of  kid cycles long after they have outgrown them, their books, irons which don't work, clothes that may one day fit again, feelings, emotions, our grown up children.

I have grown up children, almost nearing the college going age. 

My daughter tells me " Ma, I'm 17", she still wants her cuddles, comes for a hug, Won't lift a finger to help around at home, I have been around always to do things for her, often ignoring my own priorities and needs to ensure I'm there for her. This is common of most moms I know, though we deny that we control them and are growing independent children, we know we want to hold them close to us as long as possible. 

We worry about how they would manage in the big bad world all by themselves, yet we know they need to go out and fight the wolves. I also know they need to go out, fend for themselves, experience more than what I can offer. I do know there are adversities we have faced together and overcome them for now, still unsure of what the future has in store and can she manage on her own.

Going by the movie plot, I thought I would cry my heart out, surprisingly I did not, the approach of the director to not make it an emotional melodrama, but more of a focused plan to succeed made this movie memorable for me.

Set in the mid 40's with poverty and difficulty post war affecting daily living, the large Mississippi family also faces one more struggle- a "Mongoloid Idiot" a newborn with Down’s syndrome.

Back in those years of struggle, many did not have the means or understanding to raise a child who needed so much support. Jewel, the main protagonist, the mom, takes things in her control, defies the experts who declare the baby won't survive beyond 2 years and dedicates her life to serving her different child at the expense of the well being and care of her other children.

Jewel firmly believes that with enough love, she can turn around the disabilities and cure the child. She urges the family to trust in that and picks on the nanny when she does not support that belief. 

Yet they manage, they all survive the struggling years, the family moves to California to give a better life to the special child. They stick together, love each other through the many adversities they continue to face.

Jewel's real struggle comes when she needs to make a decision to let go of the daughter she has taken care of always, met her every need, loving, but fearful all the time.

Watch it to renew your faith in love, though love did not make the child whole mentally and physically, but held the family together and created a safe haven for the well loved child.

A mother's yearning to hold back, the struggle to let go, knowing it's not going to be easy, but trusting that it will be the best for her daughter. 

Jewel- a TV movie.