Perfect Strangers

Why do some people still venture out despite the pandemic, even with lockdown in place, there were crowds on the roads.

The government has opened up everything to the public,  allowing us to decide for ourselves what is safe and right to do.

So we go wherever we want, sometimes remaining cautious, we are not fully back yet to the way we were before.

My daughters miss their friends, seeing them, going out with them, the hugs, the carefree times, sitting at pizzerias and eating their favourite food, sleepovers, random window shopping. They can name the friends they miss, the places they miss.

It is different for me, I don't have any particular friend or activity I miss. I am not yearning for a person to talk to or "hang out with"

No, I am not video chatting with my friends or constantly talking to them or messaging them. 

But I do miss" People"  The general crowd I watch as I go to work, the cobbler who used to sit near the vegetable shop, the pani puri seller whom I never patronised , the crowds around his stall, the push cart chow-mein seller at night with his dank oily noodles, I miss the random people waiting for a cup of hot tea at the darshini next to our apartment. Even the drunk tottering on the road causing nuisance to passing walkers.

They were all part of my life as I knew it. The life I hated, the crowds, the unhygienic conditions, the noise they made, despised them for crowding the footpaths, blocking my path, the garbage strewn on the roads in the morning.  

They were the extras in my life, beyond siblings, parents, kids and colleagues. The ones we love to hate, but realise we miss most. I do not miss going to a play or concert or a movie, those were the elite class, and a luxury I indulged in occasionally.  I miss seeing people who were part of my normal life, the desperate crowd which survived on the streets.

I remember my first visit to the Americas.  The first few days of snow, quiet, silence were enthralling, like I lived in a winter wonderland, I welcomed the silence after living in a noisy city. Once the weekend was gone and I was alone at home,  the silence was new to me, there were no horns blaring, no brakes shrieking, no kids screaming, I did not see people, no one came out, looking out of my bedroom window I saw blankness, whiteness, stark, empty. Lovely apartments, well kept roads, but no people.  I went a whole week without seeing anyone other than my husband.  I waited for the weekend, I waited for spring, waiting for the people to come out. I waited for strangers whom I had never seen!!  And I had left my familiar home, job for my husband, so why did that not keep me satisfied?  

That is how I feel now. During the first few days of lockdown the silence was welcome, the staying at home was celebrated with gratitude, we allowed ourselves to get sucked into a " new normal”  There was peace and solitude, that we once chased after and seemed unattainable. Family time was precious. 

That same peace and solitude now seeps into our skins, our heart, our mind, turns into depression, it has become normal to mention that word, We miss people, the ones who are part of our daily mundane life we once hated. We are miserable without people.

I do not miss friends, I miss the act of sitting in a restaurant and watching others,  the companionship they offer being so far away but being in close proximity, I miss the comfort a waiter offers when he comes and asks me if I am enjoying my meal. "Thank you" mouthed when someone comes in to clean the table for me.

We take these for granted at home, we cook, we clean, we serve, there is no second thought to all this. We take our people for granted, never grateful for the company we still have.  We are dead inside, and feel alive when we go outside. 

Today movies and books offer me the solace I seek, the people I do not get to see, I see them through movies, walk along with them in my books. 

Social interactions with the known and unknown has been the key to our survival since millions of years. Many strangers  have contributed to this survival and living. Overcoming our primal urge to socialise goes against our evolutionary conditioning. The spread of the virus has capitalised on this inherent nature of people. 

The lockdown has taught me that I need variety and I feed off the energy of society, including the ones whose lives have never intersected in ours and just being an audience in the sanctimonious and ostentatious society.

The stigma of the virus has made my society disappear. The extras in our lives left affected and scared. 

"Maybe we're perfect strangers

Maybe it's not forever

Maybe the night will change us

Maybe we'll stay together

Maybe we'll walk away

Maybe we'll realize

We're only human

Maybe we don't need no reason?

Perfect Strangers- Jonas Blue