Curious and Curiouser

 I felt very close to the writer as I read this memoir.

I could understand what I was experiencing, which others around me are not able to accept.

The book talks about family ties, the struggle to live as an adult with a very difficult childhood and the difficulty in cutting the same ties which shaped you. 

How does education shape you or the lack of it force you to relook at your beliefs and take charge of the situation.

Tara grew up in a strict Mormon background with her fanatic father and large sibling family. Her mom though from a very different upbringing soon adapts to ways of the hills and her husband’s beliefs. She proves to be the stronger parent and self sufficient person when she becomes the local midwife and quack with her potions to cure all ills. 

The family business being an old scrap yard and all the children of the family are initiated into this ritual from young and need to earn their stay.

Love is a questionable emotion in the household. It is exhibited in a very harsh and loud manner with blood and gore being the standard show of affection 

This was the environment in which our author grew up. She was not allowed to step inside a classroom because the father felt that the government was out to control them. They did not wear clothes which exposed skin. Their small world started and ended in rural Idaho. She did not own a birth certificate. 

How Tara escapes the system, finds herself in a world which has not known any like her. She was lucky to have roommates who were understanding, professors who see behind the person she thinks she should be.

The “homeschooling” which taught her to be tough and persevere and self reliant. 

There are several”Facts” which do not add up. The physical wounds which heal without treatment, the bones that mend, the money that pours in, the ability to become so well read when there is no basic knowledge or understanding. 

From someone who thought doing maths meant touching the pages of the book to getting accepted in Oxford and Harvard, Tara through her professors and friends looks at things in a different perspective.  

Her curiosity and eagerness to learn and catch up on lost years give her an advantage over more worldly scholars. 

How education which she seeks for herself helps change her lives and those of her family who accept the change and the lack of education which narrows the views and lives of those who refuse to change.

Some may feel shocked that a person who could be so sensible and mature in many ways, accepts the violence as her punishment for crime not committed other than being born a Mormon in the Westover family.

What did I find relatable in this book,  which is about sadness and survivalist attitude?

Playing God, self proclaimed healer, righteous, the mother’s misplaced affection for the son who is considered weak, the rough it out daughter who is supposedly stronger, religion being stronger than medicine, fault finding, doomsday conspiracy, control freaks, anti government vents. Opinionated, Suspicious, judgmental, "I know everything am always right" attitude. Guilt tripping, demeaning, disconnected conversations.  

They are so familiar to me in my daily life, the slow death I have accepted and unable to escape.
Is it affection that keeps me bound to my family and siblings, cannot be, when there is emptiness inside me, is it an irrational fear of not being accepted anywhere else or of not belonging,  should I walk out? 

Silence a constant, avoidance a necessity, fear of being ostracised for thoughts considered ungrateful, like Tara, I too stick to people who don't judge me for my lack of emotions and need to  conform. 

She won the battles she chose to fight. 

Educated- Tara Westover