Sounds of Silence

It's been a while since I put my thoughts into words.

There were too many days of anxiety, anger, fear which could not get translated. 

The questions never came because I was scared to know the answer.

Acceptance helped.

Doctors forced questions, some comfort, more tests.

Till, the answers we were looking for came. 

Were the answers sufficient to stop the questions?

Was prayer the answer? 

This was something we had to work on together as a family.

When the cause is unknown, we wonder if everything was the problem. 

So there are multiple solutions to address every perceivable problem!!

Today, there is a calm.

There are changes we have made within and external.

Confidence to step out, 

to eat what the tongue craves and heart desires. 

When she decides to read more on what can be done to prevent any further episodes. 

Knowing she is in charge of her life. 

Yes, anxiety still troubles me, I hit the panic button and yell on days.

I do spend nights watching... when a slight movement or noise wakes me up.

When the day was spent watching too much TV or eating something worrisome.

Or staying up too late at night.

This is not lack of faith, it is a mother's natural tendency to worry.

Today, after 6 months, she says" I am going for a sleep-over to my friend's house" 

This makes me happy even though I still question the need for it.

Knowing she has the confidence to let go of my hand.

Knowing she is prepared to face anything that may come her way.

"Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Mathew 17:20