Rayil Sneham

When young, I recall watching a series on TV by K Balachander, called “Rayil Sneham”

It talks about relationships on the go. About the people we meet, becoming friends, some more, but not necessarily lovers.

“Rayil Sneham” loosely translates as ‘’train love’’ And very often that is what our relationships remain, passing by, for the night, exchange of family stories, sometimes some heartbreaks. This in the era of postal and telephone communication- mobile phones, internet were still unheard of. The efforts to stay in touch was more than what we have at our fingertips today.

Yet some Rayil Sneham flourished, they kept in touch. Especially in times of joys and sorrows. When needed help, sometimes to reach out to help.

Being in Bangalore for the past 10 years, having gone through losses and gains, having lived and studied in several towns and cities in India and US over the past 40 years, many journeys were taken.

Met a lot of people, I can honestly admit to having helped many in their lives, shaping them, encouraging them.  I am grateful to those who stopped by to help me and then went on their way.

Some Sneham went deeper and continued longer. Some remain on the surface, but still gives a good laugh when you do meet.

I love train journeys and yearned for it when I was leaving school.  Yes, the dirty loos, the snoring old man, the grouchy old lady who yells at your modern ways, the screaming kids can be irritants. Yet, there is an anticipation in journeys, a sense of excitement….. The meeting of new people!

Every journey taken teaches us a lesson in life, good or bad.  The biggest lesson I learned from one such important Sneham which has survived through the years, is “expect nothing.” This is attaining the highest level of Nirvana, to give of yourself without expecting, to give knowing you will get nothing in return.

So I tried that, but being human, I tend to forget and expect and hurt. I hardened myself after every such let down and today I have reached a stage where I hold back to give and yes, don’t expect.

I don’t like the New Me, the unemotional, unavailable me is very clinical in my relationships. I am restrained and look at every co-passenger with wary eyes.  

Rayil Snehams are important and complete you.  I miss the ones I lost on the way, but remain content knowing some more will come my way.

So here I get back to BEING ME.