Sunday, 30 April 2017

An Affair to Remember

It all began 21 years ago
A dream which remained unfulfilled.
A trip which could never be taken.

Till planning and preparation made it happen!
Not alone, but with travel companions excited as I was.

Tickets booked well in advance to ensure we got good deal for the money paid.
Travel agent contacted with detailed itinerary to make sure we could get the most out of the 9 days.
Hotels reviewed, confirmed, ready.

And then the long wait began. 
This is the price you pay for planning things way in advance, the wait is longer!!

Busy exam schedules, work schedules, made the months disappear.
Soon it was here!

Trip advisor reviews were read, weather report keenly followed. It did not seem good, but also seemed wonderful!!

Day 1
The short flights, the long waits and finally we landed in cold, grey Bagdogara airport. 
The skies were grey, threatening to open up any minute,
An ardent googler, I was fearful of the road trip that lay ahead of us to reach Darjeeling.

The girls were wide eyed in fear as our driver embraced curves.
Night falls early and by 5:00 PM we were driving in the mist and dark.
Rain pelted down, the mountains a dark silhouette in the distance. 

We crossed Ghum, the highest railway station in India.
We saw the famous Darjeeling toy train tracks. 
We crossed Kurseong and was reminded of ghost stories set in that town.
We drove through mist with less than 5 metre visibility!! 
Scary!!

Finally, reached Darjeeling, tired, hungry, needing to use the rest room!!!

The hotel room, was big! functional, with lovely views of the Kanchenjunga in the distance marred by the clouds and night sky.
Lights dotted the valley, houses readying for the night. 
A quick dinner, and we slipped into the comfort of the quilts, cold for us from hot climes!

Day 2
The next day, we woke up to blankness, no mountains visible, just a huge thick sheet of mist and rain! 
Suddenly as if by a miracle hand, the skies cleared and we got to see the magnificent ranges.
before we could take pictures, the mist covered them up again!!

We spent the day at the Padmaja Naidu Himalayan  Zoo, well maintained, animals indigenous to the Eastern Himalayan ranges.
the animals were all well fed, well nourished and looked happy though locked in cages.

We visited Ghum monastery, which was a disappointment. the Namdroling Monastery in Coorg is a wonder! 
A Japanese Peace Pagoda drew lot of attention from all tourists, destroying the sanctity of the place. 

A long drive to a supposedly good view point, Tiger Hill was a flop show. It was an anticlimax after the beautiful drive along the mountain ranges covered in mist! 
Stopped at a tea estate in the constant drizzle and were soaking in the freezing rain!! 
The chill in the air was getting to a cold in the bones by then.

We headed back to the hotel, to get some much needed rest and warmth!

Once we were comfortable, we walked down the famed mall road for some window shopping.
Night comes early, we rushed back before it got too dark and misty.

Day 3 was a long drive from Darjeeling to Gangtok.
The river Teesta flowed along us, meandering along the curves!

The drive was jittery, the roads were bumpy and the vehicles were not very comfortable, but suitable for such terrain.
After a tiring drive, we reached the state of Sikkim, the capital city Gangtok.

The drive is beautiful and scenic, mountains, valleys, rivers all in perfect harmony.
Prayer flags fluttering in the wind, reminding us of the presence and watchful guidance of the omnipresent.

The city does not permit non state registered vehicles to ply within the limits, We had to move out of our vehicle and shift into a local taxi at the taxi stand to head to our hotel.
Again, tired, rattled bones, saw us checking into the hotel. 
Cold wet weather greeted us in Gangtok too.
The room was well kept, comfortable.
A very late lunch and dinner, saw us hitting the sack early for another day of traveling around.

Day 4
This was a day for local sightseeing.
Gangtok is a city of ups and down, curves and dips.
Our cab driver took us to a lovely garden filled with rhododendrons, to a monastery again where we prayed like the locals do, turning the prayer wheels and chanting to the rhythm, a few temples with good views of the mountains around us. 

A plant conservatory. 

Gangtok is a Tibetan Buddhist city where cleanliness is so obvious.
The lack of traffic signals, the rigid following of ROW, the disciplined driving were such a pleasure to watch.
There was respect for the police and for his guidance, 

We spent some time at MG Marg, shopping for knick knacks and for an authentic Tibetan meal.

With night falling early, cold rains making the wind chill reach single degree temperatures and a long drive ahead of us the next day, we crept under the covers soon.

Day 5
This was a long journey, through roads which were not laid to Lachung in North Sikkim 
6 1/2 hours of off roading!!
Teesta river, snow capped mountains, fern hills, pine forests, bamboo groves and treacherous roads!!
The views made the drive bearable and kept our minds occupied. 
We reached Lachung a small village which was cold and wet already.
Hotels are few and very functional here. But served the purpose.
The room we got had to die for views. Snow capped mountains surrounding us on all sides,
Waterfalls in the distances, water flowing fast below. Greenery all around!

We had an early dinner and slept keeping ourselves warm under several layers of quilt!

Day 6
Saw us leaving early to drive through Shingba Rhododendron sanctuary and further on towards Yumthang valley.
Late snow had not allowed the valley to be filled with the flowers as we had expected, we saw the flowers slowly carpeting the wet snow melting grounds. 

Driving down further brought us to the Zero Point.
Heavenly, so white, covered in snow. Falling snow!  First time experiences are always memorable! Having been just toddlers when they last lived in snow land, this will be the memory they carry for a long time! 
We rented snow boots and jackets and soaked in the cold snow and beauty of the mountains all around us.

The drive back down to the valley and hot Maggi to warm ourselves was a treat.
The night was cold, we were dressed in layers, the rain came smashing down on the tin roofs, along the already soaked valley.
We stayed warm under the covers, refusing to step out for dinner!!
With the rains came power cuts and darkness and candle light at night. 
Eerie in the mountains, cold, shaking, we slept.

Day 7
Heading back to Gangtok was a relief after a night of thundering rains.
Fearful of roads, waterfalls, gushing down and landslides, we made it back to the city, safe.
The driver was cautious, not taking any chance on the road. Knowing we were sitting petrified in the back seat.
Thankfully, it had stopped raining as we drove through the slippery roads.
Reached Gangtok and back to thunder, lightening and non stop rains.
The room we got this time had lovely view of the mountains and valleys and we stayed warm and dry indoors, eating hot pakoda and drinking chai,
the mountain life!

Day 8
We heard that permits to travel to Tsogmo lake and Nathulla pass were not being given out thanks to a major snow storm which had cause a 6 hour block on the mountain roads, which had to be cleared by the army, 
Disappointed. But lucky for us, our driver reached with a permit the next morning for Tsogmo lake, 
Nathulla still remained inaccessible due to the snow storm.
Dressed warm, prepared to play in the snow, we made the long scary journey to reach 14000 feet above sea level.
The narrow ledges called roads, were slippery with ice, snow on the pines, water quickly freezing from the melting snow. 
Each ride more scary than the previous one!!
We made it up the mountain, dressed like eskimos, played in the falling snow, made snow man in the fallen snow, a wonderful experience for the kids and a pleasant surprise for me!
Rushed back before the snow storm began for the day and we could get holed in the cold mountain for the night!

Our feet were frozen under the snow boots, our fingers numbed by the cold snow. Warmed by hot cups of tea and Maggi.
We headed back to the hotel for a hot shower and hot cocoa and crispy pakodas!

Day 9
Was the long trip back to the airport.
Again a drive along the gushing Teesta River. 
Changing landscapes, mountains and valleys, to rolling tea estates.
The airport was packed with returning tourists, foreigners finally being seen at the airport - Sikkim begin a state which does not allow non Indians permits. 
 long waits, journeying back home to comfort and familiarity,


As Banglorians we are familiar with distance being measured by time, so it is in the mountains. A 20 km distance takes more than 1 hour to cover. 
But the views, the changing landscape, the majestic mountains, the bottomless valleys, the milky waterfalls all make the drive interesting.

All hotels were filled with tourists, noisy, chattery, huge groups. Surprising when the state is not easily accessible, motor-able roads disappear after landslides, rains and snow storms.
Goes to prove that the Indians are more discerning and love to explore the vastness and enjoy the beauty of their own country.
Permits to visit most of the tourist spots are required in this state.
This is not issued to non Indians. Permits are obtained against a tourist vehicle and not for individuals. So it is important to contact a tour operator to get these organised a day in advance.
Security is very strict being along a sensitive border, army has lot of control over the mountain regions.
All this make it gratifying to view their lives so far from their family, homes, yet happy to serve their country in such harsh weather conditions and security situations.
And so ended my 9 day affair with the mountains I fell in love with.

A lovely experience, time well spent with kids, different cultures and traditions and a trip to remember. A lifelong dream fulfilled.





















Trust No One

Train journeys are normally filled with adventure and excitement and longing when young.
As the travel becomes frequent, it loses its charm and get to be tiring. 

And for anyone who has to travel to work by train everyday, the daily commute can be a grind!
So it is for Rachel, she maintains her sanity (what little is left of it) by imagining lives around the people who live in the houses which dot the railway tracks. She herself leads a life of lie, celebrating it only with her maniacal drinking. 

It is slowly revealed that she too had once been married and leading a happy life with her husband in one of the neatly lying cottages she spies on everyday.

This forms the basis of a dark psychological thriller which as everyone points out has similarities to Gone Girl in its study of the working of a women's mind. Beyond which the similarities end. 

It talks about a delusional woman, drunk, lying, desperate for love. Her need to belong, her fears and self pity.
There are times when you want to walk into the story and give her a slap and tell her to find a life of her own and not scrounge around for attention.

The other 2 female characters in the movie are not stable as well. They have their own past stories, present fears and the book takes turn with different narratives and point of views.This definitely takes the edge away from the pathetic life of the main protagonist- a middle aged woman, not girl.
Imagination some, reality mixed within confuses the reader on which is true.

That by itself keeps the reading interesting and the story compelling. I commend the author on the style and the way she connects the characters and keeps the story alive. 

Soon revealed is the complicated mind of the men in the lives of the women, This is the twist and that is when you realise the women were the saner lot.
The ending was not to my liking, I expected more of a surprise to it, It fell flat and predictable after carrying the story so well so far. 

Definitely a thriller!
I could read the book in one day while waiting for a connecting flight on a vacation.  It held my attention, yes, making me want to know the end, but also wanting me to get done with the book because of the complicated twists it brought into the tale. The book was on my to read list ever since it was available at the book store, so it made me happy to have read it to have satisfied my curiosity,

Would I watch the movie based on the book- No, its too dark and uncomfortably depressing to watch their sad lives, each one with a gory story. 

The Girl on TheTrain- by Paula Hawkins.A failed journey!




Saturday, 22 April 2017

When Breath Becomes Air

I did not want my take on the title for this beautiful and poignant memoir by Dr Paul Kalanithi

Death and fear go hand in hand. 
But, this book is all about life.
Living life knowing its not going to last for long. Stark reality of mortality.

"There must be a way, I thought, that the language of life as experienced – – of passion, hunger, of love – – bore some relationship, however convoluted, to the language of neurons, digestive tracks, and heartbeats."

That made the man.
A passion for literature and science well meshed into a life of surgery. The most complex of it all- the brain. 

So well written, about his early days, his need to understand the reason for life, the path taken towards being the best neurosurgeon.
His hopes and ambitions,
Ignoring the early symptoms, maybe because he had a premonition about it all?
The severe illness which shatters his life and those around him.
The support that makes it possible to pull through and have hope left.

The passionate pursuing of a life he dreamt of, not giving up knowing death was close.
The sudden realisation of how immune he had become as a doctor to his patients' pain and suffering until he becomes one- helpless and in need of someone else's belief. 

Reading the book reminded me of a friend who went through cancer and his fighting back at every step. 
How friends and family and a new born baby were his strength and hope. 

Reminded me of my days and nights spent in a hospital alongside my mom who had undergone surgery to remove cancerous cells from her pancreas and intestines. The Whipple procedure being explained to me to help me understand why recovery can take time. 

The memoir is about living, preparing for death, yet staying alive.
How to smile through adversity, enjoying every single day that you have with your loved ones.
Breathing even if slow and laborious is still being alive. Smiling through the pain.

When that breath becomes life for the one's left behind. 


Live the life you have... today. Make it memorable, make it meaningful. Live a life of gratitude. 

“Human knowledge is never contained in one person. It grows from the relationships we create between each other and the world, and still it is never complete.” -Paul Kalanithi

Friday, 7 April 2017

It's Kind Of A Funny Story


The sun shone brightly,cheery and clear spring skies greeted her.
She stepped out with a song in her heart. 
The day progressed. 

Smile waned, spring turned into grey clouds.

Suddenly........
Empty.... Numb.....Void......Blackness.....
She was not sad, there was a feeling of nothingness, absence of colour. 
None mattered, 
A place where no one lived. 

She wandered aimlessly. Maybe there was an escape route, she never found it.
The black hole sucked her in deeper.
It absorbs her. 
Engulfs her heart and bones melt into nothingness.
She became the dark, added volume to emptiness.

Paralysed, feral fear staring out of the deep eyes.

"Why are you depressed?" "Don't you have a wonderful boyfriend? Is your job not paying you enough?"

She does not understand. Words have no meaning. She feels guilt for being in a state of void.
She glides in and out of the vacuum she calls her world.

Today is World Health Day and the theme for the year is " Depression. Let's Talk"

Depression is not sadness, it's far more debilitating and unsupported.
It is a disease of the mind if not helped, can cause suicidal tendencies. 

It can happen to the best of us at any time.
Understanding its cause is difficult for the sufferer and the supportive friends.
Everyone else sees a normal person, maybe seeking attention.
Students, Young adults,  People facing problems at work, relationship, marriage, friendship. Old age. Losing jobs, Death.

Remember, what seems like a minuscule worry, may be a mountainous problem to another.
Perceptions and emotions differ.

Be Kind to someone who admits they are depressed.
It takes courage in today's society to talk about it.
Where you can be labeled for being a weakling.  

"Do something new, go for a walk, get physical! "
Easy for us to say.
Difficult for them to execute beyond a day or two.
There is no purpose felt.
Do not take offence if they push you away. 
They do not like to burden anyone with their confusion.

Listen to their silent cries for help.

Be There for them.
Do-nothing, but sit with them.
Be ready to listen if they want to talk.
Be a friend. 
Try not to expect anything in return for your time.

It takes time. Help them heal. 

I am listening. Are you?

“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, 
Whispering 'it will be happier'...” 

This is my 100th blog post.
I was looking for something suitable to commemorate the special event.
What better post than something which defined me as a person.
As someone who went through a severe bout of depression going through a divorce, having sudden suicidal and violent tendencies, so bad that your parents did not want to leave you alone at home with your own kids.
What helped me come out strong - having the right circle of friends and supporters, a job to keep me focused. And time. 

Gratitude always! 

Friday, 17 March 2017

Physician, Heal Thyself...

“In case you hadn’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide what to say and when to say it?”
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A Singer

This was exactly my mind for the past 2 weeks! 
What went wrong, was I right, is this the right thing, maybe it's fine! Should I try, I could knock.....

The mind is a dangerous tool, it can trick you when you are at your lowest into believing what your heart speaks! 
How does the mind know? Should I listen to my heart instead? 

Have you been a sounding board to many of your friends and acquaintances? Have you been their conscience when theirs fled them? Have you been their voice of wisdom when sense did not prevail in them?
And having read books, journals, articles on how to help people overcome losses and pains in life, experiencing some on your own, you become quite an empath.

And so it was that Denial, soon gave in to Anger! The mind winning the constant battle with the heart during this phase!!
But it did not last long, the heart being stronger in feelings, went into a Bargaining mode with the Mind! 
Neither one could claim victory, soon, both gave up the fight!! 
Depression is a killer! But, being an expert in handling heartaches and breakups, having helped many overcome this battle, I felt I was strong. 
Acceptance is not easy! But it makes life easy!!
Giving in to the strength of the mind, the words of wisdom spoken through pain, the mind accepts and the heart succumbs to it!!

Words spoken, suddenly, in a brief chat window, do not matter anymore!! Exposed for the emptiness of what it was and is.
Sweet is the taste of freedom! it is a release of happy thoughts again!  Your eyes not clouded by tears, the face not stretched in sorrow, instead a smile brightens your day! 
No more is there a need to be met by others, empathy soon giving in to self love! 
And that is how it is ended! And that is how it will be!! 

The time had come!

“Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.” 
Back When We Were Grownups, Anne Tyler




Thursday, 16 March 2017

Be The Flow


“Add your splash of color to the world.” 
― Connor FrantaA Work in Progress

It seemed natural to read a book titled 
"A Work in Progress" when you believe you are a work in progress yourself!! And your blog represents that!!

This book came as a recommendation from my second born. I have not read too many Young Adult books which my daughters read because it is all about fantasy fiction and I just don't get it!!

This one was special to them!
It is a book by a YouTuber!! Now if you were anything like me, you would blink twice too!! and probably seek google!
I asked them again and again and again! YouTuber? What's that!
Well, they make money posting YouTube Videos! Its a career!!!Vlogger!!

This book is a memoir. By a 22 year old YouTuber called Connor Franta! 
Don't memoirs need experience that comes with age and living and struggling? 

The girls had loved the book, so I decided to give it a try!
My March read, while they studied for their exams, I kept them company.
I did not cloud my judgements by watching any of his videos on YouTube or reading a review of the book online.

Overall comment:
I liked it!
I never thought I would. 
I started off reading it with a bit of hesitation, wondering what would I learn from a spoilt kid's view of life.

His book reads like a blog!! 
He talks about growing up pains, his identity, belongingness, individuality, passion, fear, art, sports.  Life.
At any age, life is the same, we live,lose, laugh, cry. The feelings and emotions we experience differ because of our maturity in handling them over several occasions. 
Some people may not like the prose, since its not a story. This is what made it interesting, because it was not a biography. 
His style of writing is advanced. Conversational but not too informal. Tastefully Simple.
Now i do understand why my kids talk the way they do! Punctuated heavily!! 
Colourful photographs as well!!
The book and the flow works on you and I started liking how he touches on the surface of a variety of topics. Leaves you forming your own opinions and reflecting on your own situations. Nice! 

A quick interesting read!

“Who are you? Answer; you are who you are in this given moment. Label-less. Limitless. Remember that from this day forward.” 

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Harakiri

Always enjoy a good travelogue!
We may not get to travel everywhere, but get a chance to experience the world through the more fortunate.

And after all , 
Travel is flight and pursuit in equal parts.

So, I had bought a few books online to help with my book a month goal for the year.

The Great Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux, had some good reviews.
Liked that it did a round the world tour on trains.

Train journeys have always fascinated me as well, 
traveling to and fro from college to home, the long 2 night journey to New Delhi from Chennai,  the Goa to New Delhi experience!! 

The book was first published in 1975
That probably explains the sad conditions of many a trains.
What surprised me was the ease of drinking on the trains!! and the ease of getting tickets!
He had a destination in mind and an itinerary. He was also familiar with some of the places he wished to travel.
He travels from London, Europe and parts of Asia.

Beyond this, the book fails to impress.
He talks in length about the passengers, none of whom he engages with wholeheartedly and most of them he holds in contempt!
He talks about the sad conditions of the trains, the berths, the sleeping arrangements, am sure things have changed since then.
He describes poverty like it is a sin, he explains about the platforms, never really experiencing the cities or country he travels through.
He loves a drinking partner and spends most of his journey drinking!!
His goal is achieved, touching stations, buying tickets, eating railway food, cursing the poor.
A little bit of humour is seen at places, but not worth a read for those few insights!
Once he reaches Japan, he becomes self righteous, contemptuous, pompous, flaunting rules and money easily.
He has a strong opinion on places, people, cultures!!
He also has a few lectures to deliver across the globe, wonder how he manages to organise them in some of the most far off places!!! This covers the cost of most of his travel!! 

After a while ( the book is long- about 380 pages) you lose interest, it becomes predictable, get on, get off,haggle, curse, drink, sleep!  
If you want a travelogue, give it a miss! 

What made it worse was Amazon's quality of print!
It made reading difficult. What could have been a 3 week read, made for an uninspiring , let me get done with this book. Happy it ended!

I do have one more of his book to read, will wait it out before I reach for it!

Not a memorable read!!!