The Arrival

Ganesha, Vinayakar, Ganapati, Pillaiyar.  He is considered to be the most widely worshipped deities among HIndus, 

God of Beginnings.Obstacle remover. Lord of learnings.

Many cars carry a small statuette on their dashboard.

Many journeys are begun with a  prayer to the Elephant God.

The one tusked, pot bellied God can be seen framing many stores at their entrance.

We are a country built on blind faith.

Temples are built overnight out of an anthill.

We worship and believe anyone who prophecies good. 

WE spend money off flowers and milk to pay homage to our deities,but would deny ourselves small pleasures.

While a engineering  student at a premier institute, the neighbourhood ''pillaiyar kovil'' was a hot spot for many.

It was a place where we went before exams to pray for miracles, a place where friends could meet and talk without the piercing eyes of our wardens on us.

A reason for many to talk to the opposite sex without being judged, 

Where faith and romance flourished in perfect harmony all with His blessings.

Were they Blessed, Yes

faith along with hard work always pays off!

It came as a surprise to me when people used to stop at stained glass pane on the ground floor of one of the Software firms I worked at. I always wondered what made them stop for a second, touch the glass and continue up the stairs.

Till I had a close look.

My boss, not an overtly religious person, respected the wishes of many others and had commissioned a stained glass painting of the Elephant God. It was unobtrusive and not obvious to many if you did not know where to look.

Smart move! It was a happy organisation, people were a content lot! Work and Fun went hand in hand! 

Many years later, I moved to another organisation. They did not hide their religious affiliations. 

Royally He sat near the glass doors, not a chance for anyone to miss His presence. 

Flowers adorned his pot belly, Oil Diyas were lit through the day. His importance was made known.

Being an early bird to work and a seat with a view, I could see every going and coming at work.

My faith in my beliefs were made stronger watching each arrival.

A predominantly Hindu organisation, where religion was not just a ritual. And Ganesha being non-sectarian makes him even more of a crowd favourite. 

They stopped.

Many took their footwear off, prayed to Him.

Some kept their swipe cards in front of him and payed obeisance.

Some stood for a whole minute mouthing some prayer.

One even took the ash from the burning diyas and placed it on his forehead.

One salutes! 

This one small act of worship, helps many carry on their day's work with confidence. 

They believe. 

The day begins. There are no obstacles.

There are learnings.

Even if something should go wrong on a day, never is it attributed to the Ganapathi who resides here.

Such is the power of faith!

End of the Road

To keep up with my goal of a book a month, I decided to start the year reading about something which I love to do.

Running

“To live among people who don't think that running is ridiculous, no matter how hard their lives are, but who value running and the opportunity it brings, who revere it, almost. Even if you never become an Olympic champion, or even manage to race abroad, just being an athlete here seems to lift you above the chaos of daily life. It marks you out as one of the special people, who have chosen a path of dedication and commitment. You can see it in the runners' eyes when they talk to you. Even the slowest of the runners talk about their training with an almost religious devotion. [...] Running matters.” 

This book is all about running.

You need to understand the passion that drives those long distance runners to enjoy the authors decision to move to a small town in Kenya. Iten, home to champion runners!

http://www.runninginiten.com/iten/

Many of us born in 70s and 80s were hooked to watching Olympics on TV. We have seen how the Africans, especially Kenyans and Ethiopians dominated the long distance running scene with a  few stray American and European  medalists.

The author, a runner, decides to study how and why this happens. He uproots his family, to go live and train with the Kenyans in a small town famous for its training camps. He also aspires to run his first marathon in Kenya, in the wild! 

Watching them run, winning big money at the world championships, makes you appreciate the handwork they have put in to reach that level of talent.

Where do they come from?

A small town with primitive facilities, producing world class athletes on a regular basis!!!

Does the author understand the secret behind these Kenyans.

There is no talk about strength training, weights, cross training, nothing! Shoes, pacing strategy, hydration techniques, everything we worry about before a run,during a run, analysis after a run, does not bother them.

Kenyans are born to run! 

To survive they run!

To make it matter, they run!

To win, they run!

Even if they do not win, they run!

It's the only thing they know about life!

Run, Eat, Sleep! 

The author through his stay in Iten, helps us understand the subtle differences between the city based recreational runners and the focused poverty stricken Kenyan runners.  

resilience, hope, camaraderie, humility, a primal need! 

The book will not make you a runner,  if you are not a runner and have watched and wondered at the ease and smooth form of the Kenyans in long-distance running events , it's a must read!

Running with the Kenyans: Discovering the Secrets of the Fastest People on Earth

by Adharanand Finn 

When Two Become One

A shrouded figure moves from within the covered balcony. 

Stretching, moving listlessly. 

Sleep not yet separated from him. 

Shrugs the blanket away and moves into the tiny room behind.

Comes out with a  cup of something steaming in his hand.

The steam hazy in the distance, warms his soul.

The hot drink, awakening his senses.

Drags a blanket over his shoulders to keep his body warm. 

He sits on the one chair atop the balcony.

and stares into the skies, wondering... waiting.... hoping..... 

Blank, Still. 

The height a vantage point to look down on the world rushing by.

 

Till he has his fill of the drink and he is ready to face the day

Alone!

Everyday......

 

Absence of the figure, makes me wonder!

Has he left for warmer climes? 

Has he found a covered room?

Suddenly I see, not one but two.

The figures rising from beneath the covered sheets seem to smile.

Coy, she adjusts her saree around her head.

She walks into the room behind. 

He jumps up and stretches, a smile to welcome the new day.

 

She comes with one cup of something steaming.

The steam warming the two of them.

 

He sits in the one chair with his legs spread out.

leaving just enough space for one more

She fits in daintily into the tiny space.

the one blanket now wrapped around two

she sips and hands over the cup to him.

They both smile as he takes a sip.

His senses are wide awake, 

His soul is brimming with love.

 

They sit quietly, sometimes whispering into each other,

Oblivious to anyone around.

 

The sun-light plays on their faces, making them giggle.

They get up from their loveseat, holding onto each other, 

Now both ready to face the world!
 

Maybe this is what they call love!!!

No Clouds In My Sky

Every runner has good days and some bad days while training for an event.

The strength of a runner lies in never forgetting the reason he/ she started running.

When I signed up for the Mumbai Marathon in July 2016 for a run to be scheduled in January 2017, never did I expect to fail at one big run in-between.

It made me doubt my capabilities and preparedness for a road race, though my goal was far from racing! 

I decided if I wanted to continue running for a long time, it would require me to focus on building strength and hence,  little thinking and a lot of money later, I signed up at a fitness centre close to work.

Standard Charted Mumbai marathon is considered the Mecca for runners. Never having done one of those, I was determined not to go so far and fail at something as simple as running

Tickets were booked, friends were contacted, training plan was in place.

and training was on!!! 

I was happy with the support I was receiving from my trainer at the fitness centre and I felt good!

As always, Murphy decided I was not to be in charge of my life and threw a curveball my way!! 

Disappointment hit me, running saved me from binge eating and turning into a sloth bear during the cold winter mornings.!!

I decided to continue my training! 

Lost a lot of money due to tickets being non refundable, the registration fee non refundable!

But running without focusing on an event and training for something without the pressure of an event looming ahead is a different experience.

Being busy with a family function and stressful situations, did not deter me.

Though I did not follow a rigid plan that I would have if it were a race, yet, i tried to stick to most of the days.

The decision to run a 42.2 on my own, was a fleeting thought one day during one early morning run!! What if I ran a full marathon just for myself??

So, the weekend I should have been traveling and participating in a dream run across the sea, instead of waking up at unearthly hours to catch an early morning flight, I woke up to run!

The newly cemented roads were wet! 

The complex was dimly light during the cold, gray winter morning.

Running outside on the road is not a safe option for a lone woman runner and have never been comfortable running on my own after few bad experiences! Better safe than sorry!

I laced my shoes and took my head torch, a jacket to keep me warm and started running!

I had water and electral and few running gels and salt pills placed strategically!

I recalled the words I had read:

''Forty-two kilometers. But they are just numbers. One step at a time. One breath at a time” Adharanand Finn

It was quiet,the silences magnifying the shoes tapping on the road, the headlight bobbing up and down casting shadows on the wet cement as I ran. 

I ran

Alone!

Used to doing all my runs on my own, this was nothing new, but never have I run a distance beyond 35 KMS in silence.

Would I hit the wall, would I cramp, what if people stopped me to chat?

Music in my ears, keeping me calm!

30 kms was doable, I had not trained beyond a 30, during this training phase!

I entered distances I had not run in a while!

It was not easy anymore!! 

Doubts started creeping in, 

was I stupid to try something which was considered sacred by many and just decide to run?

Would it be possible to run without the cheering crowds to push you to the finish?

When doubts start creeping in, the difficulty levels exponentially rise and pain surges through your limbs!! 

I had a friend for  company over phone as I ran! He kept track of me to ensure I was still running and was still ok.

35 KMS had me hopeful, I could do this with a little push!! 

I went into  run walk mode and pushed myself to run!!

there are no km markers, there are no finish lines, there are no crowds calling your name, there are no drummers and musicians cheering you on!

I could have stopped, I had nothing to prove to anyone, I had no medals waiting for me, no photographers to frame my moment of glory, no placards to goad me on!

All you have as you run is your heart and soul and the fire in your legs!!!

Touching 40 kms felt like heaven! I realised my pace was steady and I could complete in less than 5 hours if I pushed myself to complete the last 2 km.

People were now walking, cleaning, watching, staring!

I gave it my all and finished! 42.25 kms inside a building! Round the block about 110 times! 

I did not collapse, I did not cry! 

I smiled!!!

''Surrender yourself to running like a God, give it your all, and expect nothing in return...and then you'll get more than you thought possible'' Scott Jurek

My personal marathon

“A hymn to the spirit, to the heartbreaking beauty of tenacity, to the joy of movement.”

Hello Hello

A year goes by.

We stuck to a few resolutions made at the beginning of the year, some helped us be better people, some never saw themselves 2 months into the year.

Some came back to remind us in December when everyone was talking about resolutions. 

Resolutions are made to be broken say some!!!

 

When a parents' health suffers, few major compromises in life had to be made. 

My children gained independence, while I had to give up mine.

 

End of year posts are mostly very sentimental with thoughts of losses and gains.

 

So I ditched my year end post and am now looking forward to a new year. 

Nothing changes for me.

I am still a crazy mom, an irresponsible daughter, a confused parent, a kind friend. Am still the person I was.

But I welcome the new year, because it will bring in plenty of surprises. Maybe new friends, new relationships, old friends, stronger relationships!

New places, new roads. Old destinations, better memories........

 

I made my goals for the year early on, just 4 days into the year and 2 of them are not going to be met. I should be upset, was for a while, but I shake the feeling and continue doing what it takes to have met that goal.

I dont lose anything!! Gain lot more in the immediate present and in the long term.

 

The peace that I found from letting go, has made me a wiser person this year. 

Mistakes of my past, regrets from years gone by will never haunt me! 

 

My mantra for this year is to practice kindness.

 

For a poetry lover this poem reflects the true meaning of life goes on.

The various stages of our lives so well represented. So peaceful and so calming 

 

And out again I curve and flow 
To join the brimming river, 
For men may come and men may go, 
But I go on for ever.

Extracted from 'The Brook' by Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

Looking forward to a year filled with hope, passion, love, courage and good cheer. And Kindness!!! And Magic........

Food Glorious Food

 

When the word marriage is mentioned, one thought which crosses my mind is good food!

And having a wedding along the coastal towns meant loads of seafood!

This was a reception, which I had to attend! A friend, colleague and a wonderful person.

 

The trip was planned for 2 days, with minimal planning required.

We had a vehicle booked and we were set!

Destination known…….

We were focused on what we were looking for! Food, Beach and Ice-creams!

Stopping by a place which was home and hopefully will always have familiar faces at night to board our bus was a pleasure.  Smiling faces at midnight working hard, never complaining! 

We left at midnight as planned.

Smooth exits, sleep banished for the night.

Several tea stops!

Games and laughter.

An unexpected stop at the break of dawn, unpreparedness for such situations.

Good samaritans who saved the day!

We could smile and thank the powers above for goodness that exists in the world!

 

We continued till we reached the city of Mangalore.

Hot, sweaty and for Bangalorians spoilt by weather, we were ready to slip into air-conditioning comfort.

A long wait to figure out a stop for the night, a quick walk to check out a place close by.

A hungry march to eat at a local darshini.

Hunger satiated, but another shocker welcomed us!

A locked vehicle, no proper papers!!

We were a patient lot, the smokers, enjoying the time for yet another smoke!

Settling scores, we started on a long journey to the beach front.

Checked into our room, freshened up and our quest for food began.

We knew where we wanted to go, with only 1 place being open so late in the evening.

Gajali it was, an old familiar haunt from my days in Mumbai.

Food pleased us, satisfied our cravings and cold beer was a welcoming pleasure!

Giving the driver a much needed break, we made our way to Tannirbhavi beach to view the sunset.

Grey skies, slow drizzle, ensured we had a cool evening with no sun set views.

The calm of the beach, the waters telling you to drown your sorrows in them, the sound of the waves all quietening the soul.

Soon, darkness brought about plans for dinner! 

A visit to the beach is not complete without beach food!- churmuri perfect for the weather!

A ride back to the city, for the famous Mangalore Pabbas ice-creams

Creamy, soft, smooth, delicious, no icicles, just perfect! 

Soon after which dinner plans were made. 

This time at Maharajahs yet another landmark in the city. Brisk walking ensured we built an appetite soon after we had a sinful dessert.

More seafood, more gluttony and more assault on the taste-buds.

A relaxed dinner and it was back to the resort for much needed sleep.

Sleep came soon and peaceful, knowing the beach awaited us in the morning,

A walk to the beach early morning is a luxury we enjoyed that day.

Just us and the beach.
i could hear the waves telling me to let go of what was beyond my control.

Telling me that life is a constant to and fro, we give, we receive.

Traveling with boys sometimes men, always reminds me that time is never of importance to them.

We still managed to leave at 9:30 am , 2 hours later than planned,

A mistake, knowing it was going to be a hot sunny day in an open fort area.

Spending 2 hours at a fort, whose history we were yet to read, but made familiar with  a famous movie song enacted there, the climbs, the walks, the sweat, the views!

Lots of juice and ice cream later, we headed back to head out of the city.

Packed and ready to leave, we stopped for lunch  at a hole in the wall restaurant which served the most delicious biryani I have eaten.

What was supposed to be  a quick stop, took a long break.

Soon we were on our way to Udupi with dessert plans in place.

Reaching, greeted by the newly married couple, and taken off for the famous Diana Gadbad icecream!!

A scare, again faith in humanity restored, quick shower, a walk to a church close by, Sunday complete!

The reception was a small affair, main focus being on food.

Dinner was good as anticipated, meeting more friends there, made the heat and sweat worthwhile!

Back to the hotel for the bus and on our way back to Bangalore.

We made good time, no surprises on the way.

While the boys/men slept, I kept vigil.

Back home, content, knowing I had left something back at the beaches.
Happy for friends who were now married. 

Looking forward to more friends wanting to get married!

Life is good!

Grateful Living

11 years ago, there was a special birthday gift! The ‘D’ Word! 32, 2 young kids, a day old job! No money!

1 year later! the eventuality happened! 

Celebrating 10 years of being single! 10 years of growing strong!

This post is not about my divorce process, nor about the struggle to win custody of my babies.

It’s all about gratitude! 

A big shout out to friends and family who helped me survive first few years and then live the next few strong and confidently.

Who helped me raise happy children!! 

Lakshmi, for listening to what I could not share with anyone else. For helping me let it out and return to temporary sanity. 

Sophia for helping me with a much needed job which helped me fight and stand up on my own.

Anitha, my tear catcher! Other than my tear soaked pillow, Anitha soaked my tears as well, stood by me while I tried to make sense of my life which was falling apart. 

Avtar, a saviour who trusted me, gave me purpose, a job which I loved, people I adored, keeping my depression at bay.

Piyush, Harsh, Vivek, Rama, Kanishka, Ranjita for all the fun and understanding! For giving me a sense of belonging. For helping me find a life outside the tears. For the smiles, the laughter and the joy of living. For being friends!  For giving my kids a reason to smile!

Kiran, for always being a friend! allowing me the freedom to say anything freely, remaining non judgemental, for listening to my complaints! Teaching me life has to be about me as well! 

When slowly sanity returned into my life, when life seemed bearable, Conrad, Amey, Aditya for all the evenings of fun, deep conversations and total abandonment.

Passion, living a full life, impetuous, wild! Finding myself!  Gaurav, he taught me to push beyond my realm, to take on things head on and challenge myself constantly. Gave me a blog name, pushed me to bake and bike and strengthened my mind to take on more than I could handle!! 

Mindfulness and Mindlessness! Much needed!

So many people, in so many ways, you have helped me become stronger, wiser and happier!

I had bought my first diamond earring soon after the divorce, cos somewhere I heard that              ‘’diamonds are a girls best friend” It is true!! My diamonds have been all my friends!  Rarely do I depend on my earrings for solace!!!

Seeing their child suffer through a divorce, seeing their grandchildren’s confused look, themselves wondering what would it be. My parents, stood by my decision, helped me get my life back on track. Respected my wishes! Even though I had gone against theirs once before and failed miserably! They saw me suffer, helped me through my anger, hatred, frustration and still loved me!!

My two amazing daughters! for their hugs and kisses, for the unconditional love!! Yes, there have been moments when I wished I had not fought for custody, there were days, I felt I was being a terrible parent, there were things I could not afford, there were places I could not take them, I felt it was unfair on them. They deserved more than what I had to give! 

They never demanded, they never rebelled! they dealt with the whole struggle I was going through as well as their own with so much maturity!!  My pride and joy. My reason for being!  Today they are sensible teens with so much love to offer. 

My two gifts from a short marriage!! 

Of course, my ex-husband, who taught me to be fiercely independent, be of strong mind and body, make my own decisions, be a giver. All by leaving me to fend for myself!!! 

To the many who took all I had to give, left me crying when I needed something, turned me down with ease, Thank You! You taught me to be resilient, to give without expectations!
Yes, also taught me to appreciate true friends! 

One door closed, but when I allowed myself to stop crying and wipe my tears, I noticed there were several doors just waiting for me to enter! 

This is not about how far I’ve come, but how much further I know I can go, ‘’with a little help from my friends’’

Love and gratitude always!!

This one song speaks so much!