Grateful Living

11 years ago, there was a special birthday gift! The ‘D’ Word! 32, 2 young kids, a day old job! No money!

1 year later! the eventuality happened! 

Celebrating 10 years of being single! 10 years of growing strong!

This post is not about my divorce process, nor about the struggle to win custody of my babies.

It’s all about gratitude! 

A big shout out to friends and family who helped me survive first few years and then live the next few strong and confidently.

Who helped me raise happy children!! 

Lakshmi, for listening to what I could not share with anyone else. For helping me let it out and return to temporary sanity. 

Sophia for helping me with a much needed job which helped me fight and stand up on my own.

Anitha, my tear catcher! Other than my tear soaked pillow, Anitha soaked my tears as well, stood by me while I tried to make sense of my life which was falling apart. 

Avtar, a saviour who trusted me, gave me purpose, a job which I loved, people I adored, keeping my depression at bay.

Piyush, Harsh, Vivek, Rama, Kanishka, Ranjita for all the fun and understanding! For giving me a sense of belonging. For helping me find a life outside the tears. For the smiles, the laughter and the joy of living. For being friends!  For giving my kids a reason to smile!

Kiran, for always being a friend! allowing me the freedom to say anything freely, remaining non judgemental, for listening to my complaints! Teaching me life has to be about me as well! 

When slowly sanity returned into my life, when life seemed bearable, Conrad, Amey, Aditya for all the evenings of fun, deep conversations and total abandonment.

Passion, living a full life, impetuous, wild! Finding myself!  Gaurav, he taught me to push beyond my realm, to take on things head on and challenge myself constantly. Gave me a blog name, pushed me to bake and bike and strengthened my mind to take on more than I could handle!! 

Mindfulness and Mindlessness! Much needed!

So many people, in so many ways, you have helped me become stronger, wiser and happier!

I had bought my first diamond earring soon after the divorce, cos somewhere I heard that              ‘’diamonds are a girls best friend” It is true!! My diamonds have been all my friends!  Rarely do I depend on my earrings for solace!!!

Seeing their child suffer through a divorce, seeing their grandchildren’s confused look, themselves wondering what would it be. My parents, stood by my decision, helped me get my life back on track. Respected my wishes! Even though I had gone against theirs once before and failed miserably! They saw me suffer, helped me through my anger, hatred, frustration and still loved me!!

My two amazing daughters! for their hugs and kisses, for the unconditional love!! Yes, there have been moments when I wished I had not fought for custody, there were days, I felt I was being a terrible parent, there were things I could not afford, there were places I could not take them, I felt it was unfair on them. They deserved more than what I had to give! 

They never demanded, they never rebelled! they dealt with the whole struggle I was going through as well as their own with so much maturity!!  My pride and joy. My reason for being!  Today they are sensible teens with so much love to offer. 

My two gifts from a short marriage!! 

Of course, my ex-husband, who taught me to be fiercely independent, be of strong mind and body, make my own decisions, be a giver. All by leaving me to fend for myself!!! 

To the many who took all I had to give, left me crying when I needed something, turned me down with ease, Thank You! You taught me to be resilient, to give without expectations!
Yes, also taught me to appreciate true friends! 

One door closed, but when I allowed myself to stop crying and wipe my tears, I noticed there were several doors just waiting for me to enter! 

This is not about how far I’ve come, but how much further I know I can go, ‘’with a little help from my friends’’

Love and gratitude always!!

This one song speaks so much!