Cause And Effect

“Inertia, force, mass, gravity, velocity, acceleration. . .cause and effect.

Liz Emerson doesn't understand any of it.

But I do.

I understand how we fall. Where we fall. Why we fall.

I understand her sadness and loneliness and silence, her shattered heart.

It doesn't have to be this way, does it?

It wasn't always this way, was it?

Stay alive, Liz Emerson, stay alive.” 

Is life all about cause and effect?

This is how I grew up,

"You are sick today, because you played in the rain.

Your child is suffering because of your sins."

We believe in karmic justice. 

What goes around comes around.
Everything that goes wrong is blamed on past transgressions.

I bought this book for my daughter.

But I read it before her.

It was confusing in the beginning,

It follows a non linear pattern, which by itself is a give-away. 

I was unsure who was telling the story, it followed various relationships across the years.

It took a while to get used to it, 

Thats when you realise it is depressing. 

It makes you sad. 

There are no fun times, no laughter, no sweet young teenage romance. And it is about a  teenage girl and her friends. 

The characters are extremely unlikeable.

They go out of their way to hate and cause havoc upon poeple they hate and also those whom they love. 

Your words and actions which to you may seem harmless, have a lasting effect on others.

This book is about privileges and the ways they can be misused,

about depression, not just being a feeling of sadness but also the actions it can lead towards, 

about loneliness even though you may seem to have everything and everyone around you.

Why we are unable to reach out for help at times.

How you start to feel the world would be a better place without you. 

“She finally figured out that she, Liz Emerson, was the equal and opposite reaction. She was the consequence.” 

It is an extremely thought provoking book and asks the right questions to parents and young adults.

What is the purpose of your life, what effect does our action have on others, how do we influence others by them, what societal pressure do we take upon ourselves to belong? 

“Funny things, aren't they? People. They only believed in what they could see. Appearances were all that mattered, and no one would ever care what she was like on the inside. No one cared that she was breaking apart.” 

How we lose ourselves somewhere in the search for happiness.

About being strong. Which is not always a good thing, 

Problems are real and we need to face them and seek help. 

To accept help when it is given. 

“She was tired. Gravity pulled at her more aggressively than usual. When she closed her eyes, she could feel it, dragging her deeper, deeper. I would have pulled her back. I would have saved her from falling, but she didn’t see my hand.” 

Everyone has their problem, big or small. 

This book makes it all realistic, it strikes a chord within me for the inner struggles faced and the emotional upheaval a person goes through. The emptiness on a busy day. 

“She wanted to go back. She wanted to be a little girl again, the one who thought getting high meant being pushed on the swing and pain was falling off her bike.” 

This book deals with drugs, casual sex, drinking, rash driving, pregnancy, poor grades, disrespect to authority. 

It is everything you do not want to be exposed to, it is all that you do not want your teenage daughter to know about.

Yet, i think this story is for all the teenagers who are influencing each other as well as being influenced by others.

It is everything a parent should know. It may help understand yourself better and deal with your children a lot more kinder.

There are so many moments in the book I could relate to and I felt myself tearing up and my senses being kicked hard. 

Some of Liz's past tells us about how her future is shaping up.

What can we do today, to make our tomorrow better.

Newton's laws applied to life. 

“It is then, when she releases her need to understand, that everything falls into place.” 

I started reading the book expecting nothing, did not like it when I started, read it with hatred for the characters, started liking them for their rawness, loved the book when I finished. 

I recommend this book to all parents and older teens.

I recommend this book for all counsellors dealing with kids and parents. 

Read

“There's more to life than cause and effect.” 

― Amy Zhang, Falling into Place

Doors

I recall watching a movie where an army crosses a moat rushing down the bridge with a battering ram and crashing it against the locked castle doors. 

They step back and come back with more force, the noise and impact jarring. Yet the doors do not budge.

Within the castle, against the door, there is turmoil. 

The doors stand steady against the constant battering. 

I watch amazed at the strength of the doors, the steady state against rest of the world. 

But, the tipping point is reached and the doors cave in, the enemy outside rushes within, 

there is massacre and plunder. 

The war is over, but the fight is not.

There is still strength left, they pick up the lost pieces, rebuild the doors and raise it majestically to continue their fight against the evil powers outside. 

Year 2018.

No Drama Llama I told myself.

Don't create it

Don't invite it

Don't associate with it

6 months into it, am a better me, because am all me. 

I have stopped making my issues bigger than me, have stopped feeding the molehills. 

Lesser toxic people, more real friends. 

No baggage to try and offload, no heartaches thanks to fewer expectations from others.

I understood this sentence so much better.

“Resilient people identify those who are available, trustworthy and helpful. Then they go towards this light,” 

The answers I seek, I find in solitude. 

They come when I least expect it.

I had tickets booked and vacation plans made for a trip to the mountains for a week early September.

My plans went awry which are a common happening when kids and parents are your sole responsibility.

The old me, would have cried and complained to all my "friends" about my sorry predicament.

The new me, canceled the tickets, the bookings, accepted the situation and read a book!!!

Today makes it a month of no running. It hurts me not to be able to have that release I need, but prioritising on what's more important to those important to me has made me change how I feel and I know I can bounce back into it soon. 

I despair about not giving my children the life they deserve, social circles adding to their feeling of inadequacies and insufficiencies.  There is still time I tell, we will cross this phase one day at at time I tell them. 

When I am struck by anxiety and a surge of loneliness, I close my eyes and let the feeling of self pity and fear pass, knowing very well " This too shall pass" 

The battering rams, never give up. They come at you with more force every time you pull yourself back, but the strength within and faith makes you rise again and again!!  

Enough Said

A feel good movie.

Random surfing through channels and I caught the beginning of this movie.

With no idea or expectations, other than having time while the kids were studying, I watched.

And felt good!

The movie deals with single parents, their woes, divorced parents, their fears. 

Kids and their uncertainties.

It does not force relationships, a no nonsense story line, a very easy companionship

and 

How to make friends when your social life is limited!! 

Middle aged dating for the not so confident. 

Learning that flaws, imperfections and flab can be loveable too.

It is not an intense movie, there is no desperation to seek approval. 

Exactly what adult relationship should be about. 

When the body ages, the mind tires, yet the soul belongs! 

James Gandolfini as Albert is the loveable, quirky, huggable teddy bear. A surprisingly refreshing role which he fits into so well.

Julia Dreyfus as Eva is so comfortable in the role, she could be this person in daily life.

This too had a twist in the tale, Marianne as the bitter but better off half teaches Eva a lesson and more.

But alls well that ends well. 

A fitting tribute to James Gandolfini, this being the last movie he made. 

Watch it to feel good, watch it to believe in yourself. Watch it to appreciate the imperfections. 

Watch it!

"Enough Said"