Full House

2017 saw 2 more dwellers in my already small apartment.

They, like the proverbial camel in the tent, slowly inched their way into our home.

Of course, just like the Arab, I too allowed my emotions get in the way of sense and paid the price for it.

No, I did not get kicked out like the Arab, we still have found space to stick together.

First came Guilt.

He came in slowly, over a period of time, in the form of seemingly innocuous remarks, the open comments. The definite No's and the silent stares.

Guilt causes arguments at home, is loud, makes everyone angry. Never a good moment around with him. Yet, love can silence Guilt.

So it was that my usual meeting friends for dinner, reduced over a period of time

I did not want to have dinner with Guilt.

Then came Fear.

In many cases, with old parents at home, she stays for a long time. 

Comes suddenly, with just one sickness, a fall, the constantly failing memory.

Fear is never addressed directly. Fear remains silent but Fear is a constant. 

Fear does not differentiate between ages. Love cannot quieten Fear. It creates more space in your home for her.

Today, we exist together. Most days are quiet and peaceful, knowing they are moving around in the background. 

Ever so often, one shows up loud and nasty.

Then the already Full House becomes claustrophobic with more of theirs visiting - Anger, Frustration, Hate, Self Pity,  Exhaustion. 

2018, I look forward to slowly moving out my squatters. Forcing them into a corner and edging them out.

Look forward to more space for myself and my own. 

Creating space for Peace and Acceptance instead.