In the wee small hours of the morning

Being alone……

Loneliness……….

Living with old parents and young children who are all prone to talking all the time, there is never really much silence at home!

The silence sounds eerie and makes me wonder what is wrong!

So am never really alone!

But yes, I am comfortable being alone!

It calms me, it helps me collect my thoughts and talk to myself! I talk to the voices in my head and they slow down and listen to me!

This is a luxury I look forward to at times -

When the household is quiet in the wee small hours of the morning. 

Running alone is my idea of therapy!

There are many who fear this state of mind!

For they attribute being alone to being lonely!

They may have people around them, they may have family to talk to, they may have friends to hang out with every day, but they are lonely!

Physically they are never alone, but  emotionally they are lonely!

I think the song “I walk alone” by Green day, if you have heard it, is the most plaintive cry for help!

“My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
'Til then I walk alone”

Sometimes, a feeling of loneliness does hit me.

There are days…memories…..associations……..

I try to tune them out and think happy thoughts and watch the funnies on TV!

Seven years of officially being declared single, never alone, lonely yes -at times!

The initial days and months and years were lonely.

I sought out new friends, a challenging job, engaging work environment and a new hobby!

In the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor

“At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking, I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high

Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive, I will survive, I will survive”