In the middle of the night

“I've been searching for something
Taken out of my soul”

and that searching is what lead to some discoveries.!

One balmy September night, many nights ago, a chat session with a friend made me find what I was searching for!

A beginning. A finding!

All talk!

It started with dinner and progressed towards my  favorite hobby- shoes shopping!

And that was when the moment was born- the reason for shoes!

 

9:44 PM Friend: So..what did u buy?

9:45 PM me: :)

  sandals to see pandals as my friend put it:)

 Friend: :-)

9:46 PM me: 2 regular pairs

  finally got my green!

9:47 PM Friend: What pandals?

9:48 PM me: oh:) bong stuff:)

  Durga Puja Pandal:)

 Friend: Ohh.that..

 me: they put up these huge things all across the city

  with Durga statues

9:49 PM so we plan to go Pandal hopping:)

 Friend: From Pub to Pandal

9:50 PM Cud make a movie :-)

 me: :)

  orwriteablog:)

9:52 PM Friend: “insert my name”... From pubs to pandals :-)

 me: :) does sound good!!!

And that is how a blog is born!

“Something I’d never lose”

Of course the conversation continued to be interesting -moving on to my next favorite splurge- bags and then to my favorite food- Maggi and an invite to dinner at 11:00 pm.

Somewhere along the way, I lost the friend.

“Something somebody stole”

My writing will always remain dedicated to “the one” who inspired me and gently pushed me to do what I enjoy doing but hesitated to make that start!

Courtesy: Billy Joel-“River of Dreams”

The Tao of Friendship

With friendship day not far away, reproducing something I had penned down in the middle of the night of 26^th Sep 2009

Situation: I was looking at starting new threads, what with many of my young friends moving out of town.

Shared my writing with a bunch of folks I think I can call friends and have known for long since my Bangalore days..

 Here goes:

My parents and Sis in Law think am a social animal and have a huge circle of friends, they have met most of u, and I keep updating them on who’s leaving/left/getting married etc.

Well, I did think I had a huge circle, I like to make friends, but then sometimes the friends turn out to be ......

Well, win some lose some I guess..

-Childhood Friends:

This includes my pals from back when I was a kid. I am in touch , off and on, birthday wishes, a hello mail once in a while,  but as someone said “would I call him/her when I need to talk”  ? there is one gal I would, and do.

-Best Friends
Do we really have best friends, guess this changes from time to time , when I was in school  I had one, college another, Post grad days another, married another, during work at different locations yet another!!! and now????  Is there any one person I would call and talk when I need to?????

-Ex-Best Friends
As each situation passes, they are relegated to the back burner, can I call them back and rekindle what we had?

-College Friends
These folks are the best kind . I met so many people, and yet there is a handful that remain close to my heart. But again, do they accept the person I am today, yeah there are folks in this list whom I would call and cry when I feel the need. even though I don’t talk to them everyday!!!!! I can call them when I need help, there are folks on this list, who I can call, who I can call and say come for a  drink! I do try to keep in touch with these people!

-Adult Friends
I do have friends who are people that are older and have their lives settled. People you can learn from and ask advice. Sometimes these older people become your good friends/mentors and sometimes they just come and go. But they are very situational! But not good for when u need to hang out/call and chat/ have a drink!!!

-Situational Friends
These are people that you happen to befriend because you all happen to either a) work together, b) live together, c)see them all the time cause they're friends with your spouse, d) friends of friends. Its easy to befriend and de-friend them!  Some even become best friends/boy friends/girl friends.

Most folks have left Bangalore now., would they be situational friends, I hope not!

you are the guys I call when I need to talk, have to cry!

-Boyfriends/Girlfriends/Spouse
This would be best friend for most people! 

Well what about folks who do not have a boy friend/girl friend? Whom do u run to when u need to?

-Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend
Once best friend, but now situational or out of picture, an ex spouse can never be my friend, but my ex boyfriend, who was my best friend, can be someone I can call upon now!! But not when he would like to change status to boyfriend again and u don’t?

Clueless!

Today-

I decided to immobilize myself!!

Switched off!

My mobile

No!

It is not because I receive too many annoying calls in a day.

Definitely not because am wallowing in self pity since I do not receive any calls in a day!

Just like that!

Going back in time, maybe I want to be free.

Yes!!

I did have my moments of distractions with my mobile in hand.

A quick check on work mails,

a personal mail response and oh yeah,

let me see if I can catch someone online and chat for a few minutes with a friend,

or probably a random round of “facebooking” while on the go!

And the ever present whatsapp!

So…

Now am free.

I  wonder?

How would someone reach me if they needed to? My mom is email challenged.

My kids do not know that my phone is switched off

There is no one else who would want to reach me in an emergency!

Clueless-

Away from my desk, i do not get reminders popping up;

am i missing an important meeting?

a task to be completed?

does it matter??

 

Right now-

I feel liberated!

At times,

I do experience withdrawal symptoms and search for the pouch to play with.

Survive!!!

I will!!

How Grouchy spoils the day

Very often, I come across people who are unhappy..

Over trivial matters.

Things they can never change.

And yet they will not do anything to make things better for them or the people around them.

These kinds of people are in their own prison-

 and it's one that they created for themselves.

They have a disease- it is called- obsessive compulsive complaining!

Though it is good to vent out your emotions, it is not healthy to find fault with everything in your life.

Staying home is a problem- they would rather go out.

When they do get to go out and on a planned holiday- the place they have decided to visit does not seem to live up to their expectations.

Visiting relatives- not to their liking.

Someone visiting them- frowned upon.!!

Having a cook fixing your meals- wish you could do that instead!

When you do get that opportunity when she takes a day off- why does she have to take a day off and make me do this work!

Family staying with them- I have no privacy.

No family – I do not get any support from family!

Why does acceptance become so difficult in today’s life? Why do we think complaining wins us accolades?

An average person complains about 15- 20 times a day!

That is a lot without us knowing about it!

It must be terribly lonely to not be able to accept life around them as it really is.

Will Bowen, author of ‘A Complaint Free World’, lists five main reasons why people complain.

• To start a conversation- gain solidarity-misery seeks company- initially it is nice to have someone share your frustration, till it gets irritating and they walk away!
• To avoid taking action by shirking responsibility-easier to feel that nothing will change even if I do something about it and hence I don’t do anything about the problem!!
• To brag about superiority- I know better than you do, that is why I think  you cannot do a better job than I can, and I will ensure I am loud and clear about it
• To control others- focus on the assumed and beat your audience into changing his point of view and being the center of attention
• To pre-excuse poor performance- knowing something will not work out well, we preempt it and provide excuse for our actions.

I am guilty of this as well..

Complaints normally have a domino effect.

Everything around you can crash down upon you.

Can we help those who are chronic complainers-

YES-

work with them patiently - do not be judgmental, ask them for a solution, help them to  realize that happiness is just one acceptance away.

Today accepting my situations has helped me move on and stay calm in the eye of a storm.

Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and say thanks to God for the troubles we don’t have!