Mindfulness

Has been the most spoken of word in the Covid era

A state of mind, coping mechanism, a fad??

Reading about it only tells me what it means to different people, interpretations, applications.

Maybe I too have been practicing mindfulness subconsciously, Not at the scale I would have liked to, but in nugget size.

Now I consciously think about how to live in the present. 

How to experience life fully in the moment.

For someone whose mind and interests are like stone skimming, this has been a valuable exercise.

I have always been " living for the weekend" waiting for what is to come, rather than enjoying what I have.

And being a worrier,  I tend to look at the future ( like a Monday morning viewed from a Sunday evening)  and allow my imagination to think of failure rather than allow the moment to happen. Stress was a constant in my life.

Even when I have control, even with bills I can afford to pay or things I had time to do, were always preying on my mind.

Now, as I find moments to hold and treasure, I train myself to find peace and joy in the everyday things.

Here is how I practice mindfulness in my own little ways:

My morning coffee

What once was a cup of coffee is now my first emotion for the day

as the milk boils, I watch it, observing the heating, the bubbling and slow boiling

as the coffee simmers, I take in the aroma.

The first sip taken without the distraction of a phone or people around me starts the day for me.

No more waiting to gulp it down, waiting to get dressed and rush! 

It is my time, my awakening moment!

My Run

Earlier, it used to be a tick mark, a stressor on days when I had plenty to do, yet felt the obligation to do this one more thing as well.

Thinking this would maybe reduce the stress.

Though a passion, and I enjoy the habit, sometimes it can be all consuming.

Now I focus more on the whole event.  On the weight of my body and feeling of weightlessness as I get into a rhythm, the smell, sounds and sights around me, my muscles loosening from the night, feeling calmer as I focus on my breathing consciously.  Establishing the fluidity between mind and body.

I am more aware of my body and how it moves and responds to each breath and motion. 

I am less stressed eventually and enjoy the experience.

My Fire

There has always been plenty to keep me passionate about life, baking, writing, getting a good sweat out.

Baking is an emotional connection, writing soothes my soul, a good workout satisfies my body. 

They have now become an integral part of my life, I do not wait to find time for them, but they have eased into a schedule for me.

I find them therapeutic and energising, each activity involving all my senses. 

I do not anticipate the pleasure or benefits I foresee, but do them in the then and now.

Living life for that precious moment has helped me face and overcome a lot of stressors which have occupied my mind in the past year.

New relationships have helped me see myself for who I am and what I offer and make me want to be a better person to bring synergy into the relationship.

Small steps towards a bigger, wholesome me!!

My Favorite Things

Spending a few minutes to myself, appreciating the little pleasures in life, just slowing down are baby steps I have taken towards mindful living.

We are the masters of our fate and I am slowly learning to take charge.
Here are five of my favourite things.

Freshly brewed coffee
I have been told to start the day before coffee! Or even QUIT coffee!!
But the whiff of coffee awakens my senses and gets me started on everything else for the day.
The first hot sip, with that hint of ginger brings a smile even on those gloomy mornings.

The first rays of the sun
I am a morning person or I try to be.
Stepping out at dawn, when I see the sun playing hide and seek with the dense jackfruit tree signals to me it's time to get ready.
The sun rays through the thin curtains, lightening up the whole house slowly, tells me everything will be alright

Skincare
I rely on natural products for my face and body.
As much as I love the fragrance of store bought creams, nothing comes close to essential and basic oils found in my kitchen.
After my relaxed cup of coffee, I use a drop of oil- coconut, olive, sesame or almond to massage through my face.
Just the gentle touch of my fingers on my skin, reminds me of how important I am.
I love the feel of oil on my body as I massage it through.
This keeps me feeling good through the day,
If I miss a day because of a rushed morning, I feel stressed, my face and skin feel taut missing the love.

Fresh Sheets
Nothing like fresh sheets for a good night's sleep
I may not sleep on 400TC sheets, the ones I use are well used and comforting.
Yet the feel of a well made bed and clean sheets relax me and bring in a cosy feel.
Every weekend is a team activity with my daughters as the mattress is given a good brushing, the pillows a soft fluffing!!
Music plays and laughter mingles!

Water
It is a miracle drink.
Start the day and end it with a glass of water.
When I have my quota of 2 litres at work, I feel nourished.
If I have skipped on refilling my bottle, the lack of hydration shows up as cramps, dry skin, migraines.
A hard lesson to learn, water is now part of my religion!

There are so many more such pleasures we can enjoy, if only we stop to smell the roses.

Dear Heart

Be silly, be sad, be joyful
Explore the world, through each other
Cook, bake, dig soil and plant some seeds
Make memories, make love
Marvel in the the brightness of the dawn, the colours of the sunset, the taste of rich coffee, coldness of the ice-cream on a winter night
Even in pain, feel in harmony with the other
Feel amazed. By love for life, sunshine, adventure, patience
Live a life that is full, it took us a long time to get here.

Let’s be on the same side.
I’m not here to fix you or figure you out. I am not looking for someone who is perfect, because I am still filling my cracks.
But I need to know that we are both capable, and willing, to heal on our own, I promise to be there to lend a hand while you do it. Will you be there for me too?
From this place of caring only for ourselves, can we come together and care deeply for each other?

We will walk, touching hands, have a drink, and talk. About bicycles and wine and Morocco and Brazil, about books, movies, music and planets, anything. We will make love passionately, slowly, two people who cannot get enough of life, or each other.

I don’t want to take advantage of you— if I do, I want you to gently remind me that I am selfish.
We need alone time. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It simply means that in order to take care of us and others in our lives, we need time to reconnect with ourselves. If you need more, or less, don’t be afraid to ask for it—or anything else.

You are free to be completely, 100% you. Slightly odd, overly generous, wickedly funny, crazy affectionate, all the wonderful things that you are. Be them. Don’t ever hold back, even a bit, even when you think you will offend me or hurt my feelings, or that I will judge you.
The fear in my head, will slowly leave. Be gentle.
I will be cranky, and eat an entire bag of potato chips 
Thoughtless words will be said. Let’s pause, breathe. No judgement zone.

I will annoy you so much, Sometimes you will hate me. We will fight. We will drive each other nuts.
My temper though normally calm, at times is like a storm on a rampage. We will get past it, if we accept each other. If we don’t stonewall. If we can give space.

Let’s talk. Always.

Fireflies

They glow, they are happy, there is a chemical reaction that happens to make them sparkle and shine. It is a “cold light” they do not lose their heat. They are energised.

There is a childlike joy to see them glow in the dark. My happy childhood memories are of spotting fireflies in the garden as night sets in.

I feel like I’m flying, like my stomach is full of heat and my chest is full of fireflies.

Fireflies larvae live underground in winter, mature during spring, emerge in summer and glow during early monsoon.

The warmth of a cold winter, birds singing, flowers blooming, spring is in the air, a hot fiery, summer day, Sunlight glow on my window, soon the rains leaving their sparkling raindrops on my window ledge.
The season’s unfold them and I do too. Like them, I look forward to the ongoing conversation of love and the twinkling in the air.

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread "

Story of our Lives

This book is so touching and poignant, a tribute to the human spirit and its connections, the influence our lives have on others, knowingly and unknowingly, our fears and anxiety so well explained.
I cannot say more than what the author has already said.
It is beautiful, sad, lyrical.

“They say that a person’s personality is the sum of their experiences. But that isn’t true, at least not entirely, because if our past was all that defined us, we’d never be able to put up with ourselves. We need to be allowed to convince ourselves that we’re more than the mistakes we made yesterday. That we are all of our next choices, too, all of our tomorrows.”

“The truth of course is that if people really were as happy as they look on the Internet, they wouldn’t spend so much damn time on the Internet, because no one who’s having a really good day spends half of it taking pictures of themselves. Anyone can nurture a myth about their life if they have enough manure, so if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, that’s probably because it’s full of shit.”

“Because the terrible thing about becoming an adult is being forced to realize that absolutely nobody cares about us, we have to deal with everything ourselves now, find out how the whole world works. Work and pay bills, use dental floss and get to meetings on time, stand in line and fill out forms, come to grips with cables and put furniture together, change tires on the car and charge the phone and switch the coffee machine off and not forget to sign the kids up for swimming lessons. We open our eyes in the morning and life is just waiting to tip a fresh avalanche of "Don't Forget!"s and "Remember!"s over us. We don't have time to think or breathe, we just wake up and start digging through the heap, because there will be another one dumped on us tomorrow. We look around occasionally, at our place of work or at parents' meetings or out in the street, and realize with horror that everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing. We're the only ones who have to pretend. Everyone else can afford stuff and has a handle on other stuff and enough energy to deal with even more stuff. And everyone else's children can swim.”

“We're trying to be grown-up and love each other and understand how the hell you're supposed to insert USB leads. We're looking for something to cling on to, something to fight for, something to look forward to. We're doing all we can to teach our children how to swim. We have all of this in common, yet most of us remain strangers, we never know what we do to each other, how your life is affected by mine.
Perhaps we hurried past each other in a crowd today, and neither of us noticed, and the fibers of your coat brushed against mine for single moment and then we were gone. I don't know who you are.
But when you get home this evening, when this day is over and the night takes us, allow yourself a deep breath. Because we made it through this day as well.
There'll be another one along tomorrow.”

“One bit at a time, Mom.” She laughed just as loudly, for the thousandth time, the way parents do. Then she held his hand tightly and said: “We can’t change the world, and a lot of the time we can’t even change people. No more than one bit at a time. So we do what we can to help whenever we get the chance, sweetheart. We save those we can. We do our best. Then we try to find a way to convince ourselves that that will just have to… be enough. So we can live with our failures without drowning.”

“Do you know what the worst thing about being a parent is? That you're always judged by your worst moments. You can do a million things right, but if you do one single thing wrong you're forever that parent who was checking his phone in the park when your child was hit in the head by a swing. We don't take our eyes off them for days at a time, but then you read just one text message and it's as if all your best moments never happened. No one goes to see a psychologist to talk about all the times they weren't hit in the head by a swing as a child. Parents are defined by their mistakes.”

“It just hurts so much at times, being human. Not understanding yourself, not liking the body you’re stuck in. Seeing your eyes in the mirror and wondering whose they are, always with the same question: “What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?”

― Fredrik Backman, Anxious People

Gratitude Post: 6

Ever since I have moved back to Bangalore with a 1 and 2 year old, my parents have ben around.

They were there.

Through the good and bad.

Controlling, caring.

Loving, Yelling

Today I do have difference in opinions, crave for some freedom, independence, space.

But if they had not been around, I would probably be someone else.

I may have survived, resilience is something we inherently have.

It could have been different.

This post is about being grateful for my parent's presence. They gave.

I give back, I think it is enough, I know it never will be.

Gratitude Post: 5

The man credited by the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office with the first such trimmer was named Valentine Fogerty, though the design of his device could best be described as a circular nail file rather than a keratin clip. The first design in the USPTO’s files that I could find that could be described as having anything in common with modern designs came from inventors Eugene Heim and Oelestin Matz, who were granted a patent for a clamp-style fingernail clipper in 1881.

For nail-clippers and men who cut their nails.
Enough said…