City of Dreams

"London streets are paved with Gold"
This I read as a kid and imagined what the streets would look like. Yes, did want to visit at that time. My father the traveling man, brought me a Queen's Guards Doll from his visit to London. He had a gold tipped staff. That was the closest I got to the streets of Gold.

A year later I read Shashi Deshpande's " The Only Witness" I would have been 9 years old and loved her few books, she was like the Indian Enid Blyton! and the kids were like the Famous Five!
This book had an opening line" So this is Bombay" I equated Bombay to London.

Small town girl that I was, all these were exciting. The only big city we would visit was Chennai, which seemed small with large gatherings of cousins.

Visits to Srilanka to visit grandparents for summer holidays were exciting, but never the adventure that I read about.
Soon enough I too became a city girl, seeing Delhi for the first time, Wide eyed,
but the pain of commuting to work everyday, dulled the excitement.

And then came more cities.
Mumbai remained my City of Dreams! Till one clandestine weekend trip to meet my unapproved of boyfriend.
So this was Bombay!
It was not what I imagined, the high rises, the slums were as I had read, but the crowds, the heat, the trains were not!

Still I did love the city and the 2 days of life I lived!

My fiancee ( Yes, our marriage by then had got my parents approval) then moved to London, from Bombay.
Again I hoped to get a piece of gold! He brought me back more than gold! still the streets eluded me.
Marriage took me to Bombay. Life on my own terms. And a love for the city.
It made many dreams reality!
I loved the city. But left too soon.

All other visits, remained short, need based, hectic, with no time to relive my dreams. 'Shantaram' awakened in me a yearning for the city, the life and the people who were always helpful.
Till the summer of 2019.
A much needed break after the exams. I decided to show my children what the city had to offer- a whirlwind two day trip to my city of dreams.

We stayed in a lovely Airbnb just behind the Taj Mahal Palace hotel!
Am not one for opulence, more of convenience,
The location was ideal, with the Gateway of India towering over us as we stepped out of our stay. The famous shops of Colaba Causeway right next to us.

We walked a lot! Everywhere! Ate a lot of food. Enjoyed the history and art and architecture all around us. Drove on roads I had previously run on, I could not believe the distances I had covered on foot!  Realised a marathon is no mean feat!

Day 1

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Cafe Mondegar for lunch- amazing pasta, the most delicious chicken roulade, fries with everything and more!
A long ride over the Bandra Worli Sea link to Bandra Church - which earlier I had only run on during TMM, now a nice easy drive!
Back for some ice creams and a walk down to the Gateway of India and its history,
Rush down to Nariman Point for the sunset and the crowds.Walk down to CST to see the lights!  WE walked!
Back to Bademiya for a hearty meal! The crowds and the price shocked us. A small roadside eatery with fancy cars parked and their bonnets serving as tables!
Tired and back to the room for much needed sleep.

Day 2

Morning saw us walk down for breakfast to Theobrama to stuff ourselves!

Back again to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sangrahalaya museum which was a wonderful experience.

Museums remind you of our glorious past-and we decided to make a trip soon to Gujarat to see the ruins of the Harappan civilisation.
We walked around till we reached Flora Fountain, the pile of books all around us.
The old University of Mumbai and the huge clock tower!
Khala Ghoda and the artsy surroundings.
Everything held in awe. 
Leopold Cafe for lunch. With the terrorist attack still being talked about there. 
Much needed rest and back to Nariman Point for a good sunset!
Rush to the Hanging gardens of Mumbai,and Kamala Nehru park for the view of the Queen's Necklace.
And it was worth it!

Back to Bademiya for their much hyped rolls. All other restaurants on the causeway were full! We had no choice!! A nice walk in the night along Strand Road and the view of boats parked their for the night.

Day 3


The next morning- an early morning drive along Nariman Point and a walk along Chowpatty beach. Sunday is a rest day made holy by visiting some churches.
We visited Wesleyan methodist church and its pipe organ and the Holy Name Cathedral - with its history and lovely architecture and arches! Stopped at the old Afghan church which was unfortunately closed by 10:00 am on Sunday. But it was lovely and quiet just sitting outside in the yard!
Grabbed lunch from Theobrama and made our way to the airport!
Thus ended a whirlwind tour of the city of my dreams.

And someday the streets paved with gold will welcome me!

DNF vs DNS

A running related blog

A runner's nightmare.

Have done both and both still give me nightmares before race day.

TMM requires registration in July for a race to be run in January. That would mean giving a runner sufficient time to train and get ready from 10 K to half 

marathon or a half marathon a full marathon. Or just get to be better half or full marathoners.

It is all about planning. Time management and training.

A planner, a worrier, a scheduler and a person with immense will power, I allowed circumstances to get the better of me.

2018 was my worst running year.

I did not put in sufficient mileage during the year for any race.

Did not train enough for any event. 

Did not register for sufficient events through the year.

Did not show up for those that I had registered.

So a DNF fear was top of my mind when TMM time was around the calendar. 

2018 had me start the year with TMM. 

A struggle to the finish with the Mumbai weather controlling my run.

DNS at Goa Marathon and Auroville Marathon in February due to a medical situation at home. 

No running at all in February because of the same. 
One situation can throw everything off track!! 

Stopped all gym workouts due to lack of sleep and rest. 

This spilled over into March with hospital visits and tests and more exam related stress.

Finally some relief in April with exams getting over, but still sleepless nights.

More doctors and hospitals in the summer. 

A date change in the TCS 10k and a last minute entry. 

Sudden rush of training runs for a week.

To finish in the top 50 women and 8th in my age group.

https://www.sportstimingsolutions.in/results.php

Then back to routine, 

a stress injury, more of mind related stress, causing a stress fracture. 

Yet another medical set back at home. 

Maybe both were related.

Another break in running.

Come July, a greedy need to sign up for an event.

Kind of instigating karma around me to see what would happen if I did sign up for an event.

That is how TMM 2019 registration happened.

Running providing mental relief whenever I did.

Body struggling with lack of sleep, work related stress, worries on the home front. 
Medical needs and emotional needs of children to be met! 

Yet determined to run.

Last minute sign up for the half marathon at SPBM in October.

Things looked a little calm on the home front. 

Confidence to step out early mornings. 

Again running without sufficient training. 

Just to appease the running demons inside me.

Finishing 4th in my age group. A surprise.

Maybe all the stress and pent up frustration were working well for me.

November rains, brought KTM my favourite race.

Undecided to go, yet showed up not wanting another DNS this year.

Sweet victory, 

unfair on those who had trained and worked hard, but rewarding for all the tears and struggles that had built up within me. 

No more I told myself.

I could not sign up for any more events in 2019 without giving an event the respect it deserved.

But TMM had to happen.

or would it be a DNS.

A full is not twice half. Universal truth.

Fate plays dirty games.

A hotel booking made in August got cancelled a week before the run.

"No room at the inn" commonly heard in Mumbai this time of the year.

But I the worrier, had an alternate hotel booked for such eventualities.

 for it was my turn to play. 

Maybe I was meant to go after all.

More unsure than ever.

DNF or DNS

DNS seemed cowardly 

DNF, if, seemed to be acceptance of what I truly deserved.

That is how I made my way to the start point on that warm January morning.

Humbling as ever, a full marathon can never be taken for granted.

Grateful for ever, to strangers who came to support and volunteer and cheer us on.

I did not DNF. 

That by itself was a huge achievement having gone through a year of no strengthening, running and conditioning 

I finished with a smile.

That only means one thing!

Mumbai I will be back!!!
Gratitude! 

Till Death Do Us Part

What can you say about a 48 year old man who died?

That he was brilliant and funny 

and he loved soft music and laughter!

and 

Black coffee.

That he smoked so much that your last words to him will always echo in your mind!

"I will see you again only when you stop smoking"

Why does death leave you longing to say the things left unsaid?'

Who does death bring more pain to- the one who cares or the one who cared?

How does death take away what was never yours yet leave you feeling empty?

What does death get by leaving behind dull pain and tears?

When does death turn the anger into acceptance?

Where does death leave the unshed tears weeks after you realise you can never talk or meet again?

"Witty, Sharp, Funny, Intelligent, Bond"

"Finance expert, a surprise romantic, soft-spoken demeanour."

"Raghu made incredibly beautiful bouquets of the wildflowers he handpicked from the forest hill behind his room. Rest In Peace, my friend."

Words shared by old friends, who remembered him from the years gone by!

His shy smile, wry humour, keen mind is what everyone remembers  of him.

6th November 2015

Our meeting after 17 years was unexpected and full of surprises. 

I made a friend! 
Someone who wanted to do special things for me.

The old fashioned gentleman, holding car doors open for me, always, always being there before I reach to meet, to draw a chair for me, 

Insisting on picking me and dropping me off, even if it meant going out of his way! 

Few knew how excited I always was to meet him,

 few knew of our long walks, talks over several cups of coffee and iced tea, sharing fear of the present and the future, feeling pain for the past and the present, shedding silent tears over what could have been and could not. 

If you take time off to meet someone on your/ their birthday, everyone knows that's special!

Grateful for his old fashioned ways, I have emails to read and grin and blush! 

Never shy to sign off with XO and Hugs! 

Some memories will remain only mine.

26th November 2018

His life was gentle, and the elements mixed so well in him that Nature might stand up and say to all the world, “This was a man.”

 

Raghu Ramachandran

3rd Sep 1970- 26th Nov 2018

Swan Song

Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to running!

I have good days and terrible days! My junk miles are far more than what is considered respectful in running circles!

But the thrill of  a good trail and the energy of the crowd makes me want to be there to experience it all.

Kaveri Trail Marathon 2018 was not meant to happen. I was not in the best of forms this year, with poor sleep, indiscipline at the gym, personal commitments, long work hours and more excuses.

 But the things we do for love! 

When I met an old soul who said he was running his first half marathon at KTM 2018 and asked if I would be running, I fell for it too! I had to be there!

I signed up.

I remembered my words to A1 from RFL after KTM 2017, that I would come back to win the race the next year in my age category,  This was not to be realised if I was running with someone else, It did not matter, since the pleasure of a good race with a good friend mattered more to me!

Race day was looming ahead, with a sudden apartment move after 13 years and settling in taking its toll, exhaustion was my only constant emotion.

Yet, I was keen to run.

An injury made my friend cancel his plans!  Now I had my doubts as well, Did i want to wake up at 2 am to do this with a long journey included,

I was a firm believer of 'the travel should never be longer than the time taken for the run!'

But here, it was definitely more. Did I want to do it?

This was one of the more expensive runs, also tough.

A neighbour was running with his friends, he insisted I join them. 

He is a certified crazy runner, who runs everyday, has run the toughest race in the country and never stops.

I was nowhere near his pace or endurance. 

So I told him I would run my own race if I did come.

Every training run was getting to be a struggle to find time. Every time I stepped out of home in the morning, I told myself to be grateful for the time I got. 

It was getting tougher to make time! I owed that time to my daughter instead!

I made up my mind. I was determined. I would run to win! Just as I had decided a year ago.

The weather the previous night was not race friendly, It rained heavily, even at 2 am in the morning. 

I had visions of slushy slippery trails, with overflowing canals!!

Sometimes the weather god can be kind after a scary night. 

It stopped raining by the time we reached the venue.

The sun did not come out and hid behind the clouds. 

The small group of committed runners took off for the full marathon, while the half marathoners stretched near the start line.

I ran not too worried about the pace, keeping it at a comfortable level, slowly overtaking the other runners. 

The 10.5 km turn was a feel good point, knowing we were now going home.

I could make out that there were few half marathoners who were racing, some women still ahead of me. 

At the 16th km, the effects of ignoring my gym work outs showed up as fatigue.

The slow painful process of completion had begun. It was still my own race.

I saw the usual suspects making their way to the finish, some call them old women, but all I saw were "strong runners" 

Sometimes knowing helps! and here I knew. They were behind me or with me.

The faster open category women had raced ahead. I let a few pass me.

I knew what I was after!

Saw my favourite runner going back for his second loop for the Full. 

He gave me a mental boost when he cheered me on.

And thus a race was won!

First among equals.

Something in me told me I had won.

I told my friends I might have. 

But I knew! and it was my secret till they publicly announced it!! 

It took me 9 years to get here to the podium. Every kilometre contributing towards this finish.

A podium finish is always a hope, not achievable without efforts. 

This one, being a less competitive race and a trail run, is not a favourite among the professionals. 

It's the more passionate ones who make it! 

What makes KTM a coveted event is the the warmth of the organisers, support from friends and family, no frills venue, the rush of the canal, the green fields, bullock carts passing by, birds watching you from afar and the silence of the trail. 

Running will continue, but races will not.

I have plenty of miles to go before I sleep! 

This being my swan song! 

Till I make my re-entry into the world of events after 4 years! 

Kaveri Trail Marathon 2018

scripboxktm.com

https://scripboxktm.com/post-race/#section-3
2:09:09
Winner among Senior Women -HM

http://www.myraceindia.com/result-link.html?val1=NjYwMA==&val2=S2F2ZXJpIFRyYWlsIE1hcmF0aG9uIDIwMTg=&contestType=SW5kaXZpZHVhbA==&year=MjAxOA==

The Importance of Being Earnest

It's not the destination, it's the journey! 

How often have we heard that! Yet we wait for the destination, our steps hastening when we know we are near.

How well do we prepare for the journey? 

We think about it day's in advance, look for stops on the way, maybe a detour to help ease boredom. 

But the destination is what is always on our mind.

All the work goes into planning the places we would see when we reach the final destination, the things we could do, the anticipation of something new. 

So it was with the 5th year of Shriram Properties Bengaluru Marathon,

After 4 years of participation in a Full marathon at the event, this year I knew my physical limits and signed up for a Half marathon on the last day of registration. 

I took it to be a training run towards a full Marathon in January at Mumbai and made my training plan accordingly.

Well meaning friends tried to tell me that running was a mental game and I should sign up for a full marathon. 

Running becomes a mental game only when the body is ready. You cannot punish your physical being beyond what it is trained for and expect the mind to control it.

And I like to keep it fun! 

Injuries, work stress, time constraints all excuses which reflect on your performance. 

I cheated on my run schedules, felt guilty about the money I had paid for the gym, tried to squeeze in a work-out once in a while, knowing fully well, without discipline and consistency even a hard's day work once in 2 weeks will reap no benefits!

Nothing comes easy, not even a Half marathon distance when you are not training for it! 

Suddenly the journey was getting to be challenging and the destination was not something to look forward to.

Here, the mind does play its part.

It distracts itself, at times goes into denial. other times into acceptance. Knowing which is best for you to face a challenge is how you train your mind to run the race.

A training run. I kept telling myself the days leading towards Event day.

Normally the expo enthuses me when I meet excited runners, interact with pacers, meet friends.

This time, the expo was a far away job with just the bibs to be collected.

I knew the crowds during a Half marathon would be more than a Full and I would have to jostle for shoe space, sun would be on top of me forcing me to search for some shade, the aid stations would run out of water since half the race is already over! 

Never one to be unplanned, this time I did not even have my morning transport to the venue fixed and decided last minute to go with a friend I met inside the complex. 

A training run I told myself.

Walked into the stadium, did a few stretches, no familiar faces in the crowds, started, ran, stopped to help a fellow runner at the 9th KM, a Full marathoner who was cramping, slowed down at the 16th Km to help a friend, a Full marathoner, running his first Full Marathon catch his breath and keep going.

Continued on my solo journey, calm, comfortable no pressure of time and distance. 

The finish point, the destination was not too far away and a sprint and a finish.

Within 5 minutes I was near an exit gate and decided to leave before I got caught in the drama and excitement which normally follows. 

So, this was the journey they talk about.

The 2 hours of rush outside, still within, noise on the roads, silence in your head! Peace.

My destination then was not the finish point, but the calm, joy and satisfaction of a race well run!!

"The person who starts the race is not the same as the person who finishes the race."

2:10 for a HM at SPBM 2018.

Finishing 4th in my age category was an unexpected bonus.

http://www.bengalurumarathon.in/Results_2018.html

Here Comes The Sun

Birthdays are always special,

not just for the celebrant, but for their family, friends and colleagues!!

There is cake- my favourite ones, plenty of flowers of my favourite kind, there are bumps and free flowing laughter on most occasions. And Lots of Love - my favourite kind.

45 is an age, I refer to as the "Age of the Ultra" 

But circumstances are ensuring Ultra remains a dream.

And I continue to work towards fulfilling it.

Every birthday reminds me of the one which I can never forget. 

The happy one at times, but rudely, the ones which bring the tears.

Memories remain, but the pain is gone.

So we celebrate in ways appropriate. 

An early birthday celebration with classmates who turned friends, with extended family - strangers no more. This kicked off the celebration days in advance and helped create better memories.

Grateful for friends who accept and love me for the person I am.

This day was guaranteed to remain a quiet, no excitement, me and mine day...

Till the past crept upon me in ways I never would have imagined a month ago. 

It brought with it memories, smiles, anticipation and maybe closures.

And a chance meeting.

A very special birthday gift! 

And another meeting from the not so distant past. 
A medley of emotions.

Each a different reason, as different as night and day. 

Bringing with it a different season.

"It's been a long cold lonely winter

it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun

And I say it's ALL right!"

Here Comes the Sun

Look forward to new beginnings and many more journeys around the sun!

Happy Birthday to me!

Bicycling Diaries

Wednesday being a holiday here, I decided to catch up on some afternoon cycling before the kids took over the roads.

I circled the block once, saw a stranger( defined as someone I have never seen before in my complex) with a worried look.

Not used to interfering where I'm not needed, I continued circling the block.

I found few kids running around and wanted to get my 10 K in before more of them came.

The next time I saw her she was with another neighbour ( defined as someone who lives in my apartment complex and I have had casual conversations with) also with a  very worried look and walking rapidly around the block.

I stopped.

and asked if there was a problem,.

"Children missing" she said and asked if I had seen a boy and girl together. 

I had seen few kids, but no boys. 

The stranger, said her kids were missing. They were playing in the park and were not there anymore.

Our apartment complex is safe. That is the reason I choose to live here. 

We have security round the clock and around the blocks.

We have only one functional gate.

There are cameras.

Yet, we have had our own stories of delivery boys and thievery.

I continued cycling, now looking inside the parking lots and between the buildings. 

I went back and met her near the park.

Panic had set in.

Security guards were walking around. Little kids were running around.

The mother was shaking. 

What do we do when something like this happens to us.

We lose our head, we fail to think and sequence out events.

We panic! 

That is why we reach out to others. 

An outsider who can stay calm and think through situations.

I stopped, all thoughts of cycling now gone.

Spoke to her, asked if she was visiting someone here. 

She mentioned she had moved in recently ( 2 weeks back) 

her kids were 5 and 8 years old. 

They were playing in the park with the other kids, but when she came down they were not there.

It had been an hour since then.

I asked about the school they went to, if they had friends in the complex.

She said they knew no one and the only person they knew was the girl who was running around in search of them.

I asked if they may have gone to someone else's house, she insisted they knew no one and would not do that.

How quick we are to forget the natural tendency of kids.

They trust easily, they make friends out of strangers without a thought or fear. 

Being a holiday and the afternoon, there was no one around.

Other than the kids and the two women.

Some gardening staff and the security, Few drivers hanging around.

Office was closed 

Someone had to take charge. 

I told the security to get the keys to the office and have a look at the security camera.

he insisted that no kid had walked out, he was there are the gate, or someone was always there

I believed him.

They take their job seriously here.

Still for the sake of elimination, I requested them to go to the manager's home for the keys.

Next the cleaning staff were sent to all the toilets and storage rooms in all the blocks to have a look.

Sometimes kids sit around there, or maybe get locked in??

The security were made to walk and check behind each car park to check if they were not playing hide and seek. Innocence of kids!!

The kids were sent to check between the apartment blocks where there was plenty of hiding space.

The final person to talk to was the mom who was now in tears.

Questions were repeated, 

Did the kids remember the apartment number?

Did they have other friends

Do they use the lift by themselves.

Did you check inside the apartment before you came down?

I thought back to my kids and the anxious moments I have had with them.

All came back with no sign of the kids.

I realised that they were in someone's apartment or sitting near the terrace entrance. 

My kids have done that. 

I sent the kids out on another mission now.

Go scream the two children's names floor to floor and building by building. 

The mother was sent home to wait near the apartment. 

I could feel the anxiety and felt for her.

I would have done the same, lost my cool, my usual clear thinking head if this had been my kids.

I have been in such situations and gone to various apartments looking for my kids. I have always found them laughing, 

at that moment, I would yell, out of relief, 

they would continue doing it over the years, not realising how much of anxiety they had caused in me. 

The kids were found, 

they were sitting in another apartment with other children they had not known before, 

a random afternoon invite and they were laughing and playing and making friends like how kids should do.

Do we step in when needed?

Do we take charge when we know we can?

Do we have a clear head when others around us lose theirs?

Would we stop to help a stranger?