August Rush

Just like many others, I collect magnets as memorabilia of places I have traveled to.

Unlike many others, they do not sit on my refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen, but jump out at me from a 35 year old steel cupboard which has traveled places with me as well!

A constant reminder of the fun days, some short stays! But all brimming with a story to tell!

One such prized possession is a magnet I picked up in a small town in Iowa. For some reason my eyes have been drawn to this magnet over the past few months.

The Bridges of Madison County. A book I had read several years before I visited the bridges, but which had made a mark on me!

I had read it when I believed love was for fools and only for the young.

And who could imagine someone over 40 falling in love and having a 4 day passionate affair!

To prudish me, that was a tad bit disgusting and unbelievable!  Must have been lust, its adultery! my mind shouted!

It was sheer luck that we lived not far from such a historic location made famous only by Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep  and as the birth place of John Wayne!

My then husband was not a big fan of planning and travel- he left it all to me to decide where I wanted to go and when I wanted to travel! He was happy to accompany me!

With friends visiting from out of town, it seemed like a nice day trip to get to see and experience the 4 days of passion Francesca and Robert Kincaid had. Was it for real?

I borrowed the movie, from our local library and watched it before we visited the bridges.

Yes, the movie, made it seem real, but to me, it still seemed unacceptable behavior!

We visited the quaint little Winterset town in the Spring of 2002!  I could imagine Clint Eastwood and Francesca walking along those pretty lanes.

Such a picturesque all-American town.

“The road is a strange place. Shuffling along, I looked up and you were there walking across the grass toward my truck on an August day. In retrospect, it seems inevitable - it could not have been any other way-- a case of what I call the high probability of the improbable”

The bridges each had a story to tell- my favorite being Roseman covered bridge, where Francesca leaves a letter for Robert Kincaid inviting him home for dinner!

I loved them all- walked around, touching, feeling, wondering!! Far away from the crowded city life, they lived a peaceful life which we now yearn for.

 

The 4 days defined the rest of their lives! Did she give up on her family and forget her responsibilities as a mother and wife to leave town with the man who stole her heart and taught  her what  passion truly meant!

She had come with hopes and aspirations and dreams  to be married to a handsome soldier only to restrict  her free spirit and live a life of quiet submission!

Unlike her, Robert Kincaid was well traveled, he had “seen the world” . A Free Bird! He meets a regular farmer's wife, but for him too, the next 4 days were unforgettable!

“Like two solitary birds flying the great prairies by celestial reckoning, all of these years and lifetimes we have been moving toward one another.”

Serendipity!! It was bound to happen! They both realized life never would give them a second chance and they grabbed it with both hands knowing fully well, there was no future!  They felt no wrong, but for Ms.Morality, me, that seemed so wrong!!

“The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it's been broken into a million pieces.”

I had loved, lost and was slowly learning to live again.

With age came wisdom and a change in the way I defined romance!   Along with family, kids, responsibilities, dawns  a deeper understanding, the lips speak more through the words than with a sensual kiss! Yes, the hormones still do cause the heart to skip a beat, yes, a bike ride can still cause the heart to flutter, yes, a sudden weakness in the bones which causes you to turn to mush, the soft glow in the eyes, seeing the one you want, all these and more are still felt!  A true connect of mind and spirit and heart and body!

“Francesca was feeling good feelings, old feelings, poetry and music feelings.”

What would you have done, being in Francesca’s shoes-

Mere humans that we are, we always want more! Never satisfied with what we have, always seeking completeness, the missing link in the puzzle called life! Searching for a  perfection which never exists!

What would you do, given a chance like what Francesca and Robert had?  Would you have left it all behind and run away to a life of passion and love and Dreams or take the  chance to spend 4 days  filling your heart and soul to live the rest of your life with those memories?

“In four days, he gave me a lifetime, a universe, and made the separate parts of me into whole. I have never stopped thinking of him, not for a moment. Even when he was not in my conscious mind, I could feel him somewhere, always he was there”

All quotes courtesy, Robert James Waller- The Bridges of Madison County

CONTINUUM

Am back after a hiatus..

And what better way than by commemorating friendship day!

And to my girl friends, who encouraged me to write again! 
Thank You!

It was so easy to be friends when we were kids!  Even as kids, the friendship bands, the small gifts we shared, the notes we wrote, were all so important. We learn that Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do.

Today, we have forgotten how to act and think it’s all in the mind!  We take for granted the relationship so closely and carefully built and easily destroy it with our carelessness.

Sometimes you need a friend and other times , it’s the other way around. Balance, Respect and Trust -the three key factors that make or break the relationship.

It’s not about being an aye-sayer and being around only during the good times! It’s also about the arguments, the tears, the late night discussions, the sharing, the caring, the loving through it all and sometimes walking out only to come back with arms wide open!

When I came to this city I call home today, in 2005, I had lost all contacts with old friends and my life was filled with sadness and despair.

Old college friends came to my side, stayed there, helped fix the broken me and got me moving again. They moved on, like angels to help others in need.

Thank You!

A new life, a new beginning, a new company and new friends.

They taught me to trust again, smile, find interests and rekindled passion.

Some stayed, some moved on, but many are just a phone call away.

Thank You.

During life’s journey, chance meetings, brought in more people, love, hope and laughter!

They made me feel good about myself even on days I did not like myself!

Thank You!

There are special friends, who become more than friends, they become your conscience, your soul, your anchor and spirit!

They are a part of me.

We grow together, age together. And change is inevitable. Physically we change, and so do we emotionally and intellectually. The bond that connected us as friends,  matures at a deeper level with the passing of time!

As with any journey, who you travel with can be more important than your destination.

Thank You!

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”

Specially to the friend who taught me what it was to give and live without expecting, who shows up when I least expect, who doesn’t know how to say “No” and stops and listens even when I complain and who knows what I need even when I don’t.

For being there even when you are not around!

Thank You!

Take a deep breath and accept some changes in life. People move on. If you find yourself forcing a person to change the way you want them to be, STOP! This relationship is about being yourself and being accepted and accepting each other! Always look for a reciprocal relationship.

To me, “ friend” is a very personal relationship.

I have my moments, I have my failings and I am human!

But I value and love the friends who came into my life and touched my soul! I cherish the laughter and sunshine they bring into my days. I respect them for the time they spend to listen to me and advise me when I need it most. I trust them with my thoughts and fears.

Balance is what Bruno Mars sings so well in his song!

I love it when a song describes exactly how I’m feeling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L14QtTGtjF4

“The only way to have a friend is to be one”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To all my wonderful friends out there…..I hope I am the kind of friend you want me to be, just as you are to me!

This is our day!

Cheers!

Flipped

"Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end"

That is how my life was in the late ‘90’s

Wonderful days and nights filled with friends, music, laughter, studies all in a “to die for” location.

Goa:

2 glorious years where I spent doing my Masters education.

Where I first fell in love.

Being away from home during graduation, I realized having fun was meant to be.

Back in school in the small town I grew up in, Valentine’s day was never a big deal. 

Boy knows girl, girl knows boy, big deal!!

But while at college, things get more serious.

Roses and gifts and chocolates are exchanged,  secret notes left, some have  longing looks and there are disdainful moments as well.

Never being serious, I had my moments of fun, chasing, being chased, laughing about it all.

Then the move to Goa, changed things for the non-believer.

I who thought love was only for the weak hearted, I who enjoyed the company of every guy I met and could never believe one could commit to another, “Flipped”

The first Valentine’s Day at Goa, was spent winning the popularity contest and getting to have dinner with one of my favorite seniors.

Next year things changed!

I was a one man woman!

I was in love!

Every waking moment was spent in the company of the One.

I who never missed being first at the dining table, now waited patiently for the One to finish his classes to join me for dinner.

With our second Valentine’s day on campus, came the usual nonsensical competitions.

This one was a couples event. A “how well do you know your partner” contest.

Followed by a heady, sensual couples game of “ twister”

And the winning contest: a proposal.

And that clinched the award.

In front of the whole audience under the starlight skies, with Basanti’s tower as witness, I was proposed to in great sincerity.

And of course I accepted!

And of course we won!

Best couple on campus!!

At that moment no thoughts were given if the marriage would ever take place considering the diverse family and societies we came from.

No thoughts were given to the fact that our parents and siblings did not know about what had just taken place.

We celebrated the moment.

Everything we did together was a First!

We enjoyed each other, we were on top of the world.

 For the curious ones:

Yes, after several roadblocks, we eventually got married.

We had 2 beautiful daughters.

But fate or call it whatever you may, decided differently and we went our separate ways.

Today, am older, wiser and have a strong reign over my heart.

The passion and letting go are in control.

This does not make me a non-believer, this does not make me doubt the feeling of being in love.

It makes me caution and question the intent and the depth.

It would make me hold back till I am ready to give in.

This note is dedicated to all who believe that it can happen.

And also to all who think love is for the weak.

It is a wonderful feeling- the passion, the joy, the pain that come with it, the stolen moments.

"I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. 
Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change.” 
- Somaly Mam, Author

To all who fall in love and celebrate the day as lovers-

Happy Valentine’s Day!
 
the song whose lyrics open this note is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyaTIXdN5fI 

White Noise

What is it that makes people think about themselves more than they do about others.

When someone asks me “how have you been” are they ready for my verbose description of how bad my day has been, the  series of unfortunate events I came across that day, how wonderful I feel, how great my kids were or are they just being polite and expect me the same from me.

But then, there are those who cannot wait for you to reply, they seem to have their reasons to have asked.

It starts off either with how wonderful their day was, what major achievements they have accomplished, how good they  have been and so on and so forth- all they need from you is to respond positively once in a while.

And little do they realize, that you have not said anything and have now lost all interest in the conversation and just playing along since you are a “nice person”

They are so full of themselves, constantly emphasizing on the “I”, Myself” ,“Mine” and “Me”.

Will they ever learn- the etiquette of communication.

Listen, understand, empathize, share.

Do they realize that their daily worries and accomplishments leaves me the listener drained out and has me seeking out a listening ear. Elsewhere….

Is this relationship meant to be or should it fizzle and die out before it becomes bitter and strained?

Or do we sit and talk it out and make the other person understand what the conversation lacks? Will they ever listen?

Or do I live with  this “White noise” in my head!

Walk with me for a while, my friend --you in my shoes, I in yours -- and then let us talk.

- Richelle E. Goodrich –