CONTINUUM

Am back after a hiatus..

And what better way than by commemorating friendship day!

And to my girl friends, who encouraged me to write again! 
Thank You!

It was so easy to be friends when we were kids!  Even as kids, the friendship bands, the small gifts we shared, the notes we wrote, were all so important. We learn that Friendship is not a state of mind, it’s an act. It’s something you do.

Today, we have forgotten how to act and think it’s all in the mind!  We take for granted the relationship so closely and carefully built and easily destroy it with our carelessness.

Sometimes you need a friend and other times , it’s the other way around. Balance, Respect and Trust -the three key factors that make or break the relationship.

It’s not about being an aye-sayer and being around only during the good times! It’s also about the arguments, the tears, the late night discussions, the sharing, the caring, the loving through it all and sometimes walking out only to come back with arms wide open!

When I came to this city I call home today, in 2005, I had lost all contacts with old friends and my life was filled with sadness and despair.

Old college friends came to my side, stayed there, helped fix the broken me and got me moving again. They moved on, like angels to help others in need.

Thank You!

A new life, a new beginning, a new company and new friends.

They taught me to trust again, smile, find interests and rekindled passion.

Some stayed, some moved on, but many are just a phone call away.

Thank You.

During life’s journey, chance meetings, brought in more people, love, hope and laughter!

They made me feel good about myself even on days I did not like myself!

Thank You!

There are special friends, who become more than friends, they become your conscience, your soul, your anchor and spirit!

They are a part of me.

We grow together, age together. And change is inevitable. Physically we change, and so do we emotionally and intellectually. The bond that connected us as friends,  matures at a deeper level with the passing of time!

As with any journey, who you travel with can be more important than your destination.

Thank You!

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”

Specially to the friend who taught me what it was to give and live without expecting, who shows up when I least expect, who doesn’t know how to say “No” and stops and listens even when I complain and who knows what I need even when I don’t.

For being there even when you are not around!

Thank You!

Take a deep breath and accept some changes in life. People move on. If you find yourself forcing a person to change the way you want them to be, STOP! This relationship is about being yourself and being accepted and accepting each other! Always look for a reciprocal relationship.

To me, “ friend” is a very personal relationship.

I have my moments, I have my failings and I am human!

But I value and love the friends who came into my life and touched my soul! I cherish the laughter and sunshine they bring into my days. I respect them for the time they spend to listen to me and advise me when I need it most. I trust them with my thoughts and fears.

Balance is what Bruno Mars sings so well in his song!

I love it when a song describes exactly how I’m feeling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L14QtTGtjF4

“The only way to have a friend is to be one”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To all my wonderful friends out there…..I hope I am the kind of friend you want me to be, just as you are to me!

This is our day!

Cheers!

Flipped

"Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end"

That is how my life was in the late ‘90’s

Wonderful days and nights filled with friends, music, laughter, studies all in a “to die for” location.

Goa:

2 glorious years where I spent doing my Masters education.

Where I first fell in love.

Being away from home during graduation, I realized having fun was meant to be.

Back in school in the small town I grew up in, Valentine’s day was never a big deal. 

Boy knows girl, girl knows boy, big deal!!

But while at college, things get more serious.

Roses and gifts and chocolates are exchanged,  secret notes left, some have  longing looks and there are disdainful moments as well.

Never being serious, I had my moments of fun, chasing, being chased, laughing about it all.

Then the move to Goa, changed things for the non-believer.

I who thought love was only for the weak hearted, I who enjoyed the company of every guy I met and could never believe one could commit to another, “Flipped”

The first Valentine’s Day at Goa, was spent winning the popularity contest and getting to have dinner with one of my favorite seniors.

Next year things changed!

I was a one man woman!

I was in love!

Every waking moment was spent in the company of the One.

I who never missed being first at the dining table, now waited patiently for the One to finish his classes to join me for dinner.

With our second Valentine’s day on campus, came the usual nonsensical competitions.

This one was a couples event. A “how well do you know your partner” contest.

Followed by a heady, sensual couples game of “ twister”

And the winning contest: a proposal.

And that clinched the award.

In front of the whole audience under the starlight skies, with Basanti’s tower as witness, I was proposed to in great sincerity.

And of course I accepted!

And of course we won!

Best couple on campus!!

At that moment no thoughts were given if the marriage would ever take place considering the diverse family and societies we came from.

No thoughts were given to the fact that our parents and siblings did not know about what had just taken place.

We celebrated the moment.

Everything we did together was a First!

We enjoyed each other, we were on top of the world.

 For the curious ones:

Yes, after several roadblocks, we eventually got married.

We had 2 beautiful daughters.

But fate or call it whatever you may, decided differently and we went our separate ways.

Today, am older, wiser and have a strong reign over my heart.

The passion and letting go are in control.

This does not make me a non-believer, this does not make me doubt the feeling of being in love.

It makes me caution and question the intent and the depth.

It would make me hold back till I am ready to give in.

This note is dedicated to all who believe that it can happen.

And also to all who think love is for the weak.

It is a wonderful feeling- the passion, the joy, the pain that come with it, the stolen moments.

"I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. 
Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change.” 
- Somaly Mam, Author

To all who fall in love and celebrate the day as lovers-

Happy Valentine’s Day!
 
the song whose lyrics open this note is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyaTIXdN5fI 

White Noise

What is it that makes people think about themselves more than they do about others.

When someone asks me “how have you been” are they ready for my verbose description of how bad my day has been, the  series of unfortunate events I came across that day, how wonderful I feel, how great my kids were or are they just being polite and expect me the same from me.

But then, there are those who cannot wait for you to reply, they seem to have their reasons to have asked.

It starts off either with how wonderful their day was, what major achievements they have accomplished, how good they  have been and so on and so forth- all they need from you is to respond positively once in a while.

And little do they realize, that you have not said anything and have now lost all interest in the conversation and just playing along since you are a “nice person”

They are so full of themselves, constantly emphasizing on the “I”, Myself” ,“Mine” and “Me”.

Will they ever learn- the etiquette of communication.

Listen, understand, empathize, share.

Do they realize that their daily worries and accomplishments leaves me the listener drained out and has me seeking out a listening ear. Elsewhere….

Is this relationship meant to be or should it fizzle and die out before it becomes bitter and strained?

Or do we sit and talk it out and make the other person understand what the conversation lacks? Will they ever listen?

Or do I live with  this “White noise” in my head!

Walk with me for a while, my friend --you in my shoes, I in yours -- and then let us talk.

- Richelle E. Goodrich –

Oxfam India Trailwalker 2014- Bangalore

Some pointers:

Train well-

It is important to be confident that you can do it.

So look at a 40 on day 1 and rest well and another 40 on day 2, walk at a relaxed pace.

Try training on trails- gives you a clear understanding of how much you can and if your shoes are up to it.

Walking on trails is not the same as walking on city roads!

Back to back as every runner knows, the kms adds up, stamina builds up.

Walk every day,

Look at leg strengthening exercises for about a month before the walk.

Cycling and running are good for the legs.

Diet control-

For a month before the walk, watch your diet, avoid binging on junk. Cut down alcohol and eating out

Take sufficient carbs and proteins to build muscles.

Take a vitamin tablet a day to keep the immunity levels high.

Take a little more calcium to strengthen the bones.

Potassium is a must to help prevent cramps- dates, raisins are all good.

Use them as snack items.

Include spinach in your diet.

Have a good support crew

This is the most important part of the walk-

You may think you can do without, but you never know their importance till you get  there!

They are your lifelines!

You need a vehicle to dump the bags you would otherwise have to carry filled with things you may need or may not!

You need someone you trust to tell you its all fine!

You need someone to keep pushing you when even talking becomes difficult.

Use the loos

You may consider it dirty, but since you are drinking fluids, its better to use the loo than walk on a full bladder!

Saves time and tension on the road looking for a private place !

Blister care is important-

Prevention is better than cure.

Even one blister can cause so much pain.

Get the regular non surgical tape- tape your toes,  tape the sole, tape the heels.

Clean your feet, powder it and Change this tape every 20 kms.

Change socks every time you change the tape.

Dry the socks and alternate it.

Hydrate well

Carry water, carry ORS, drink them alternately.

You may not feel the sweat , but the energy levels drop rapidly and the lack of water can cause wooziness and headaches.

Keep sipping at regular intervals, even 1 litre for every 10 kms is sufficient.

It is easy to refill at check points.

Red bull and energy drinks do help a bit, but don’t overdo them!

Nights are chill but easy

They are cool, with good lights and torch, you can cover a lot more easily.

Also, if you are well prepared, and have rested well the past week, you will not feel drowsy.

A 2 hour break, to rest and have dinner is sufficient and 30 minutes at other check points at night is enough to keep you going for the night,

Eat bananas and light snacks to keep you awake, coffee is available and you will not feel sleepy or tired as easily in the coolness of the night.

Be wary of sleeping dogs and cows along the way!

Watch out for snakes!

Carry a stick if you must!

Don’t depend only on food at check points – have back ups

If u are racing, avoid check point waits, carry food and get your support crew to get water.

The food is not what your normal diet may be and may not be sufficient for you.

Carry sufficient energy bars, biscuits, fruits.

Change socks every 30 -40 kms

This is important, since you tend to sit, wait, air your feet and massage them a bit

Spray some moov on your calves, massage the feet with Vaseline.

Powder them, change the plaster.

It feels good!

Walk in floaters for about 10 kms late evening- helps the feet

The feet tend to swell late evenings and as much as would like, we do not drink sufficient water and we tend to lose salt.

It helps to let them free for a while,

Not squished up in tightening shoes,

Wear socks, but let your toes wiggle a bit.

Unless you plan to run!!

Then keep the shoes on!

Wear hats during the day

It is HOT!

More than you could imagine, being used to sitting indoors during the day, not being exposed to direct sun, it hits you bad!

A good hat and sun glasses can help control the ill effects.

Sun screen must- you get burned beyond what you thought possible!

Take a break in the afternoon when the sun is at its worst- around 1-3 pm, could help you walk better in the evening.

Knee support helps if you are used to it.

I wore socks around the calves and that helped me towards the night when I felt I could do with some support.

It helps to keep the cramps at bay.

Pain killer helps too!

A Brufen at 40-50 kms can help you dull the pain you start feeling in your soles and thighs and calves and back and head!!

So take one at night and carry on through the night

And another before the final 20 keeps you going, so take one again in the morning after breakfast,

Make sure you take a painkiller only on a full stomach to avoid cramps.

Finally

Keep the humor going

Its a lovely trail, the villages so pretty, enjoy it!

It’s just you and them be nice to each other,

Push each other when you feel the other is slipping.

Don’t get frustrated when you slow down if other is struggling,

Stick to them, support them

You are a team.

One person needs to have a firm head and think for the rest.

Help each other, joke, talk, sing out loud, have topics ready which are not argumentative but funny!

Try and smile often, makes a difference to you and others.

Be nice to all the teams you see on the road,

Everyone is struggling, a kind word, a smile goes a long way in cheering them up and does us good too!