Of friends and neighbors

Social media and I were never good friends.

India’s favorite many years ago used to be Orkut!

Slowly I realized, not being part of the Orkut gang, I was missing out on some important updates from friends about life’s progress.

Weddings, babies, moving in, moving out, career changes and sometimes more important –“in person” meeting invites~!!!

By the time I decided to jump onto the Orkut bandwagon, I heard drum rolls for Facebook.

That was the new place to be seen!!

Well, it took me a lot of effort to create and befriend people on Orkut, learn to navigate the pages and now there was more pressure!!!

Facebook was cool, Facebook you could poke, and Facebook you could meet people from all over the world!!

So I did!

It was all that, and more, Forgotten friends, next door neighbors, folks u met everyday, folks who you had never met even once, were all suddenly “Friends”

My life suddenly was not just about me!

While I was growing up “keeping up with the Joneses” meant neighbors on your streets.

Now suddenly everyone became a Jones!!

But worse was the sudden need to share!

Every personal detail of your day, your thought, your family, your home with the Joneses!

It was good while it lasted.

Entering the home of a “friend”  whom you were meeting after 15 years was familiar! You knew exactly where the couch was placed, where the painting done by his 8 year old daughter was framed and hung, you knew the way the lamps were placed at his bedside table, the year he bought his car and even knew the color of his cutlery!

Nothing was left to the imagination!!

Little kids names and ages were not something you had to struggle to remember, all it took was a quick look into his profile, get the details and get comfortable!

Too comfortable at times!!

Privacy became passé

Everyone seemed to be happy! Their kids, spouse, friends were all happy lots, over achievers all!!

Their gardens seem to flourish, their travels seemed to span the globe, their lives fulfilling!

Then why does that make me sad?

Was I a failure, was my home not noteworthy of pictures and updates were my kids underperformers?

Or maybe I just need to move away from the Joneses?

Perceptions

Roadrunner-
Looney tunes funnies –Beep Beep
My ISP many years ago while  enjoying high speed internet in Mid-West USA
Supercomputer developed by IBM- early 2000’s – heard about, never experienced
A runner on the road- definitely not something I enjoy doing.

Roadrunner-

An Indian Quest in America by Dilip D’Souza – 
None of the above
Yet- all of the above!
Funny, quirky, descriptive- not another travelogue!


A long journey, made interesting by his witty perception of the people and places he comes across.
He flits like a butterfly from one state to another, giving us a taste of life on the road.
It is true that
“Travel can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection.”– Lawrence Durell

Though set in the US of A, Dilip D’Souza  through his travels and travails, made me appreciate all things American and Indian!

Read once to know about some unknown parts of the country!

http://www.amazon.com/Roadrunner-Indian-America-Dilip-DSouza/dp/8172239068

A Whole New World

I love reading.  A childhood habit which never died.

Remember days when I was a kid, walking far with my parents to buy our monthly quota of books.

Remember the days when I was a little older, but not so much that I was out of Enid Blyton, we started a lending library in the top floor of our house

Remember summer vacations meant the long bus journey to the one library in the city we lived in, to borrow books for the week.

Remember the days when our neighborhood got its own small lending library and cycling down ever so often to finish his collection of books.

Remember the days of train journeys, between college and home, late nights at the station, unreserved compartments, books for company.

There did come a time during my life when books took a backseat,-sun, fun, sea, study, friends, love, dates, projects took over.

Things changed after 2 years,

something which is so much a part of you can not just disappear from your life!

It was back to books, long bus journey to work and back was enough to get a lot of reading done.

Moving to another city, purchasing power increased and discovered book stores!

What joy!

Living alone had its merits, I could read without eating or sleeping or cooking or cleaning or all that mundane activities!!!

Life in Mumbai introduced me to drink while you read,

bookstores actually had coffee shops where you could sit and sip and finish a book!! Weekend bliss!

Suddenly life changed, uncertainties! Unfortunately airline baggage policy gave no special consideration for readers!

All the books collected over the years got packed and sealed in carton box to be opened on an unknown date!

Thus a new journey was begun and the destination was far more amazing!!

Miracle called public libraries!

I could read all I wanted, for free!!!!

And I did!

Fortune favors the brave and Brave I was,

Braved the cold wind, sleet, snow and walked to the library to get my fill!!

I lived to read!

Life is a pack of cards, very often we get dealt a bad hand, but a smart player knows how to deal with this and yet emerge a winner!

The bad cards came, tears blurred my vision.

Dealt with the game, emerged the winner, I could see clearly again... books returned into my life!

Now there are more than I can handle. In a household of 5, there are 4 avid readers with varied tastes!!

4 bookshelves, more books inside the bed storage and divan storage and a neighboring brother’s house filled with books as well!!

Oh yes… a Kindle sits on one of the book shelf!!

Someone once asked me, why do I sacrifice sleep to read-

I travel in time with the author to experience unknown places, people, culture, climates.

Emotions are exposed and feelings explored.

But am still a book worm, call me old fashioned- I cannot get used to the e-book concept… yet!

Read!

It’s a whole new world out there!

Mind Games

 

I start something and then stall…

A cluttered desk - sign of a cluttered mind?

Too many coffees- confused thoughts?

Voices in the dark- bundle of mess?

Same Footwear everyday- lack of interest?

Handbag not coordinated- lazy?

Why does  a butterfly never sit still, why does it flit and fly all the while?

Reading- not registering….

hearing- not listening…

What does it hear to make it move away?

How does it know that there is nectar in one and not another?

Sometimes I wonder- how do I  understand what goes on within my own mind?

“Mind reader” does not apply here!

Its easy to preach, but practicing them takes effort.

I say to them:

Do what you like

List them out

Take a break

My mind refused to listen..

Then I wonder- do they?

When does it take time to settle on one flower to get its fill?

Do we ever take time and stay still for the mind to calm down

maybe therapy is the solution-

retail used to be the easiest, baking the best.

Cleaning is therapeutic, alcohol – destructive!

Running –

always works

angry- so I went for a run

tired- so I  went for a run

confused- so I went for a run

bored- so I went for a run

thus starts my next journey.

A goal, a destination to be reached.

Who keeps the butterfly company ?

Only you- have the answer to your confusion!!

fear has a new address- Bangalore

There was fear in the air even before I started from home.
The only real reason to leave the house when you are already frightened is the prospect of meeting a favorite professor.
So,
Stepped out armed with my tiny compact umbrella and waterproof handbag.
Getting an auto ride during rains was never my strong point!
I wait and wait, none free in sight, so I decide to take the metro train after a 10 minute drench (do not want to open the umbrella since it would get wet!!!!)
Trudge down to the metro station, the escalator refuses to “recognize” me
So I rush up the stairs ( see am smart and know the metro train well, since I had walked along the route for a few mins and there was none in the direction of MG road, I knew the next one would arrive soonly )
Am the only person there at the station, I rush to the ticket counter, hand out a 20 Rs note for a  counter,
He asks me for change!!!!! He has a bowl full of change in his till, yet he demands change, I apologise and he goes through the act of searching for change!!!
I hear the announcement that the train is reaching and I know I can still make it ( all those years of sprinting before I became a “slow” runner would have helped me at that time)
The ticketeer takes his time counting, he slides the counter and the change to me finally, the train is already there, I hear the whistle blowing and the doors closing!!
I seethe in anger!!
I slowly go up the stairs now, knowing I have a 15 minute wait.

How many of you carry a book with you wherever you go,
I am one suchJ now that is one of the things which makes the load look heavier!!!

So I take out my current read, slip out of my wet slip ons and get comfortable with the book.
I keep glancing at my phone willing it not to ring to let me know that others have reached the destination!

Train arrives I get in, I get out, and the dreaded phone call comes
He has reached, how much time will you take? I say 5!
And I run down MG roadJ yeah if anyone asked about the girl in full black running on MG road, that was meJ

I did it, 5 minutesJ

Even crossing St Mark’s  road was not difficult, since the rains caused all two wheeler traffic to come to  a standstillJ

I run into the restaurant, luckily for me the rain made them think it was water and not me sweating from my runJ
 Wonderful to meet some old professors and some surprises too!
 I had decided to leave early and the calls started at 9:00 pm
Ak1, Ak2, Home – 3 different phones- messages, calls, gtalk, whatsapp, technology being used to monitor movements!!!!
 It took me another 40 minutes to get up and another 10 to walk out,
 Metro ride was my option to get back home, but the pouring rain, thunder, lightning was frightening and the constant calls and messaging were getting stressful!!
So the easier option was an auto ride straight home, but getting an auto on a normal day from that location was never easy,
Raining, flooded roads, almost 10:00 pm-seemed impossible!!



Yet, I try,
I step out and I see an auto and ask him- he readily agrees!!
Why would he?
He does not demand a penny extra either!!

Should I have been worried?

He quickly decides to fill gas at the station next door,
Should I have been worried ( I live 3 kms away from that junction)

Well, tank filled, he rides fast.
It is raining so heavily, am drenched, my jeans feel like they have been washed and hung to drip dry on me!!
My flimsy top is now clinging to me – luckily it is black!!!

He rides fast, the lightning and thunder are scaring me!
Am still on the phone with the Ak’s giving them minute by minute detail on where I am.

Cubbon road
I like the road, since it is not very busy, the road is good and pavements well laid and not many businesses  or crowds there!!
But not that night!!
It was dark, water logged and less than normal traffic!!

And he stopped!!!
He tries to start, the engine disappoints!
Again and again.
By some strange coincidence, there is  another auto “stranded” 5 feet away, having the same problem, only difference is, it carries a male passenger!
Both drivers seem to be in Unison, starting, giving up, starting giving up,.
It goes on for 5 minutes!!
I search anxiously for the driver details board, it is missing!!!!!
He looks about 25 years old.

If you are a regular reader of the newspapers in Bangalore, you may know what would have gone on in my mind at that moment.
The few cars passing by and rushing by do not think it necessary to stop and help someone in need!

I sit in the auto, wondering whether I should get out and make a dash and face the unknown on the deserted road or was it safer inside?
He puts his head down -was he praying?
I don’t know, but I know I did!

The messages do not stop, I should have reached home by now, since they all know the time it takes to reach home from Cubbon road, I tell the kids am stuck in slow moving traffic!!
And prayed that it could be so!!

The thundering and lightening add to the fear, since the trees on that road are huge and could cause the branches to fall!!
 Something worked and the engine slowly came to life!
It sputtered and then stopped!!

I almost called K, at 10:15 pm!!
SOS! But then did not want him exposed to the perils on the road!!
I did not call my dad, knowing he was yelling at my kids for my night time escapade!!
I did not call my brother knowing he was supposed to be someplace else!!

I did not know what to do!!
Prayed more- both of us!
Was it my prayers, or was it his?
Or a combined cry for help?

 He gave it his all!
And yes!!
I was almost in tears!!!

The auto in front slowly started pulling away, and mine slowly started driving away.
Took the slow route trying to avoid major potholes and flooding, not succeeding!
Reached the Gurudwara signal, slow, real slow,
Kids are more than worried, the phone wont stop buzzing.
Maybe the auto driver knew I was on the phone with someone who was worried about me being on the road at that time in that weather!

The market road was completely inundated!!
It was like a small river flooding the street.
The auto driver, ( his name was Mahesh, he lived in some area near majestic) goes slowly, doing his best to get me home!!

The kids are frantic, and so am I!!

It is 10:30 pm, I send a message saying am outside the gate, the rains have now reduced, the lightening not as fearsome, the thunder not so insolent!
The meter showed Rs 40/-
I hand over a Rs.100/- note to him, he responds in a tired voice- no change,
I told him I did not want change and to get home safe!
 ( what happened at home with my dad is another story )

Trust- completely absent.
Fear -rules us!
Faith- keeps us going!