Pilgrim's Progress

 When was the last time you did something for the first time?

This used to be a favourite question I loved answering, when I had my annual lists of challenges ready. 

Something happened along the way and the lists stopped, the challenges became a scary thing of the past.

When a friend told me “ where there is a will, there is a way” I knew it was in me to do the things I liked most.

Old memories have a way of popping up with an overly invasive social media.

Some made you yearn for the old you, the carefree smile, the confident poise and don’t care attitude. 

Dussehra always being a time when I took off from work to spend time at home alone or travel with family or friends. 

Being a pseudo bong getting leave during this festival was never questioned. 

Work, family, illness, responsibilities, COVID all affected travel, only leaving behind guilt if I wanted to get away one my own. 

But also changes on the Homefront and a need to know if all was well, made me take a chance.

So when opportunity knocked, I grabbed it. 

A quick decision to travel to a state I had never been to before.

I did make some plans, for a 3 days quick travel, which then I decided to extend into 4 as I got greedy

There was an opportunity to go rafting, trekking, relaxing and experience calmness through a spiritual retreat 

But of course, the best trips are the unplanned ones!

So it was this time as well.

Devprayag at night

We started off from the airport towards the snow capped mountains.
Driving through the night , viewing the confluence of two rivers the  bashful, gentle Alaknanda and the stormy, wild, Bhagirathi to form the Ganges at Devprayag , staying the night near Rudraprayag.

Small towns, villages following our journey.

Early morning start to get to Sonprayag and onwards to Gaurikund.

Travel in the mountains, teach you that distances are measured in time and not in kms

We started the climb at 9:45 AM, having read and researched that it takes about 5 hours to reach the top.

The first 3 kms were hot, steep, crowded with people and horses.

Watching me struggle, I know why the question” Aunty Ghoda chahiye?” were a constant chorus

I would have given up! The body was ready to, but the mind and soul had been promised exciting things, that made me go on.

Coolies and horses are constantly awaiting a word from you, to take on the burden of reaching the top.

view while driving towards the mountain

View from the top

If lemonades were not there, we would have died of heat stroke. The small stalls, dhabas on the way, selling lemonades, lassi, hot tea, Maggi were life savers.

To stop, sit, take a break, refresh and move on.

It seemed like forever.

The steep climbs and the heat were relentless.

Signs of the devastation of 2013 are visible, in the extra 2 km route as well as broken down bridges.

Again after 4 long hours of climbing, the sun seemed to suddenly disappear and made the air cooler, the elevation and the chill, seemed to make the end possible.

But it was not to be, the 12th to 14th km were tough, almost vertical, with heels sore from the constant uphill climb.

The one motivator was the flow of the river Mandakini, gushing, cold, the waterfalls, the constant.

It took us 7 hours, with me slowing down often towards the end, a sense of satisfaction in having experienced the Darshan and Aarti at 3500 m high

view in the evening 

We decided to stay on at the top at night, since the clouds obscured our views, having climbed so far ( 16 kms ) we had to see the Himalayas in their glory,

Copious amount of hot tea, spiked with ginger was our saviour that cold night, along with hot , syrupy jalebis 

The night stay was an adventure and we waited for the morning.

morning view 

For clear views, for a truly spiritual experience.

The climb down was supposed to be easy, it is not... 4 1/2 hours of sheer grit with just one stop and suddenly it was all over.

A long winding drive back to Rishikesh, just in time for one of my dreams to get fulfilled - Ganga Arti on the Ghats .

Ganga Arti 

A night stay with view of the brightly lit Ram Jhula over the Ganges, will be an experience not easily forgotten.

Morning walk along the Ghats, to visit Laxman Jhula, the crazed Beatles Ashram and a mad rush to get to Landour, yet another childhood dream.

Ruskin Bond’s "Room on the Roof" was a book I read when I was about 8 years old.

The imagery created had me dream of mountains and adventure as a kid.

My most recent read by Ruskin Bond was the Blue Umbrella, so innocent and giving and again set in the mountains he loves.

We walked the hills, silence greeted us along with the  Oaks, Pines and Deodars. 

And the majestic homes of the authors and producers who sought the calm and peace of the mountains. "peace does
come dropping slow" -Yeats  

We did the tourist circuit, visited the places everyone did and finally stilled the body in constant motion with a little help from some hot, spiced rum! 

home of the author 

Surprises come from the most unexpected places, the prim and staid professor, lit up with a smile when asked about Ruskin Bond, he ran down the stairs, next door and showed me his picture at the doorstep and told me to run up the stairs while he stayed watch down!! 

The next best thing to not seeing the man himself, was knowing our hotel shared a wall with his home that night!!! 

Hot parathas for breakfast, food for the soul and the drive back to the airport.

Memories that will last a lifetime and appear on my social media accounts years later, when I could never make that climb again, yes I will smile, but after a slight grimace!!! 

Mindfulness

Has been the most spoken of word in the Covid era

A state of mind, coping mechanism, a fad??

Reading about it only tells me what it means to different people, interpretations, applications.

Maybe I too have been practicing mindfulness subconsciously, Not at the scale I would have liked to, but in nugget size.

Now I consciously think about how to live in the present. 

How to experience life fully in the moment.

For someone whose mind and interests are like stone skimming, this has been a valuable exercise.

I have always been " living for the weekend" waiting for what is to come, rather than enjoying what I have.

And being a worrier,  I tend to look at the future ( like a Monday morning viewed from a Sunday evening)  and allow my imagination to think of failure rather than allow the moment to happen. Stress was a constant in my life.

Even when I have control, even with bills I can afford to pay or things I had time to do, were always preying on my mind.

Now, as I find moments to hold and treasure, I train myself to find peace and joy in the everyday things.

Here is how I practice mindfulness in my own little ways:

My morning coffee

What once was a cup of coffee is now my first emotion for the day

as the milk boils, I watch it, observing the heating, the bubbling and slow boiling

as the coffee simmers, I take in the aroma.

The first sip taken without the distraction of a phone or people around me starts the day for me.

No more waiting to gulp it down, waiting to get dressed and rush! 

It is my time, my awakening moment!

My Run

Earlier, it used to be a tick mark, a stressor on days when I had plenty to do, yet felt the obligation to do this one more thing as well.

Thinking this would maybe reduce the stress.

Though a passion, and I enjoy the habit, sometimes it can be all consuming.

Now I focus more on the whole event.  On the weight of my body and feeling of weightlessness as I get into a rhythm, the smell, sounds and sights around me, my muscles loosening from the night, feeling calmer as I focus on my breathing consciously.  Establishing the fluidity between mind and body.

I am more aware of my body and how it moves and responds to each breath and motion. 

I am less stressed eventually and enjoy the experience.

My Fire

There has always been plenty to keep me passionate about life, baking, writing, getting a good sweat out.

Baking is an emotional connection, writing soothes my soul, a good workout satisfies my body. 

They have now become an integral part of my life, I do not wait to find time for them, but they have eased into a schedule for me.

I find them therapeutic and energising, each activity involving all my senses. 

I do not anticipate the pleasure or benefits I foresee, but do them in the then and now.

Living life for that precious moment has helped me face and overcome a lot of stressors which have occupied my mind in the past year.

New relationships have helped me see myself for who I am and what I offer and make me want to be a better person to bring synergy into the relationship.

Small steps towards a bigger, wholesome me!!

My Favorite Things

Spending a few minutes to myself, appreciating the little pleasures in life, just slowing down are baby steps I have taken towards mindful living.

We are the masters of our fate and I am slowly learning to take charge.
Here are five of my favourite things.

Freshly brewed coffee
I have been told to start the day before coffee! Or even QUIT coffee!!
But the whiff of coffee awakens my senses and gets me started on everything else for the day.
The first hot sip, with that hint of ginger brings a smile even on those gloomy mornings.

The first rays of the sun
I am a morning person or I try to be.
Stepping out at dawn, when I see the sun playing hide and seek with the dense jackfruit tree signals to me it's time to get ready.
The sun rays through the thin curtains, lightening up the whole house slowly, tells me everything will be alright

Skincare
I rely on natural products for my face and body.
As much as I love the fragrance of store bought creams, nothing comes close to essential and basic oils found in my kitchen.
After my relaxed cup of coffee, I use a drop of oil- coconut, olive, sesame or almond to massage through my face.
Just the gentle touch of my fingers on my skin, reminds me of how important I am.
I love the feel of oil on my body as I massage it through.
This keeps me feeling good through the day,
If I miss a day because of a rushed morning, I feel stressed, my face and skin feel taut missing the love.

Fresh Sheets
Nothing like fresh sheets for a good night's sleep
I may not sleep on 400TC sheets, the ones I use are well used and comforting.
Yet the feel of a well made bed and clean sheets relax me and bring in a cosy feel.
Every weekend is a team activity with my daughters as the mattress is given a good brushing, the pillows a soft fluffing!!
Music plays and laughter mingles!

Water
It is a miracle drink.
Start the day and end it with a glass of water.
When I have my quota of 2 litres at work, I feel nourished.
If I have skipped on refilling my bottle, the lack of hydration shows up as cramps, dry skin, migraines.
A hard lesson to learn, water is now part of my religion!

There are so many more such pleasures we can enjoy, if only we stop to smell the roses.

Dear Heart

Be silly, be sad, be joyful
Explore the world, through each other
Cook, bake, dig soil and plant some seeds
Make memories, make love
Marvel in the the brightness of the dawn, the colours of the sunset, the taste of rich coffee, coldness of the ice-cream on a winter night
Even in pain, feel in harmony with the other
Feel amazed. By love for life, sunshine, adventure, patience
Live a life that is full, it took us a long time to get here.

Let’s be on the same side.
I’m not here to fix you or figure you out. I am not looking for someone who is perfect, because I am still filling my cracks.
But I need to know that we are both capable, and willing, to heal on our own, I promise to be there to lend a hand while you do it. Will you be there for me too?
From this place of caring only for ourselves, can we come together and care deeply for each other?

We will walk, touching hands, have a drink, and talk. About bicycles and wine and Morocco and Brazil, about books, movies, music and planets, anything. We will make love passionately, slowly, two people who cannot get enough of life, or each other.

I don’t want to take advantage of you— if I do, I want you to gently remind me that I am selfish.
We need alone time. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It simply means that in order to take care of us and others in our lives, we need time to reconnect with ourselves. If you need more, or less, don’t be afraid to ask for it—or anything else.

You are free to be completely, 100% you. Slightly odd, overly generous, wickedly funny, crazy affectionate, all the wonderful things that you are. Be them. Don’t ever hold back, even a bit, even when you think you will offend me or hurt my feelings, or that I will judge you.
The fear in my head, will slowly leave. Be gentle.
I will be cranky, and eat an entire bag of potato chips 
Thoughtless words will be said. Let’s pause, breathe. No judgement zone.

I will annoy you so much, Sometimes you will hate me. We will fight. We will drive each other nuts.
My temper though normally calm, at times is like a storm on a rampage. We will get past it, if we accept each other. If we don’t stonewall. If we can give space.

Let’s talk. Always.

Fireflies

They glow, they are happy, there is a chemical reaction that happens to make them sparkle and shine. It is a “cold light” they do not lose their heat. They are energised.

There is a childlike joy to see them glow in the dark. My happy childhood memories are of spotting fireflies in the garden as night sets in.

I feel like I’m flying, like my stomach is full of heat and my chest is full of fireflies.

Fireflies larvae live underground in winter, mature during spring, emerge in summer and glow during early monsoon.

The warmth of a cold winter, birds singing, flowers blooming, spring is in the air, a hot fiery, summer day, Sunlight glow on my window, soon the rains leaving their sparkling raindrops on my window ledge.
The season’s unfold them and I do too. Like them, I look forward to the ongoing conversation of love and the twinkling in the air.

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread "