DNF vs DNS

A running related blog

A runner's nightmare.

Have done both and both still give me nightmares before race day.

TMM requires registration in July for a race to be run in January. That would mean giving a runner sufficient time to train and get ready from 10 K to half 

marathon or a half marathon a full marathon. Or just get to be better half or full marathoners.

It is all about planning. Time management and training.

A planner, a worrier, a scheduler and a person with immense will power, I allowed circumstances to get the better of me.

2018 was my worst running year.

I did not put in sufficient mileage during the year for any race.

Did not train enough for any event. 

Did not register for sufficient events through the year.

Did not show up for those that I had registered.

So a DNF fear was top of my mind when TMM time was around the calendar. 

2018 had me start the year with TMM. 

A struggle to the finish with the Mumbai weather controlling my run.

DNS at Goa Marathon and Auroville Marathon in February due to a medical situation at home. 

No running at all in February because of the same. 
One situation can throw everything off track!! 

Stopped all gym workouts due to lack of sleep and rest. 

This spilled over into March with hospital visits and tests and more exam related stress.

Finally some relief in April with exams getting over, but still sleepless nights.

More doctors and hospitals in the summer. 

A date change in the TCS 10k and a last minute entry. 

Sudden rush of training runs for a week.

To finish in the top 50 women and 8th in my age group.

https://www.sportstimingsolutions.in/results.php

Then back to routine, 

a stress injury, more of mind related stress, causing a stress fracture. 

Yet another medical set back at home. 

Maybe both were related.

Another break in running.

Come July, a greedy need to sign up for an event.

Kind of instigating karma around me to see what would happen if I did sign up for an event.

That is how TMM 2019 registration happened.

Running providing mental relief whenever I did.

Body struggling with lack of sleep, work related stress, worries on the home front. 
Medical needs and emotional needs of children to be met! 

Yet determined to run.

Last minute sign up for the half marathon at SPBM in October.

Things looked a little calm on the home front. 

Confidence to step out early mornings. 

Again running without sufficient training. 

Just to appease the running demons inside me.

Finishing 4th in my age group. A surprise.

Maybe all the stress and pent up frustration were working well for me.

November rains, brought KTM my favourite race.

Undecided to go, yet showed up not wanting another DNS this year.

Sweet victory, 

unfair on those who had trained and worked hard, but rewarding for all the tears and struggles that had built up within me. 

No more I told myself.

I could not sign up for any more events in 2019 without giving an event the respect it deserved.

But TMM had to happen.

or would it be a DNS.

A full is not twice half. Universal truth.

Fate plays dirty games.

A hotel booking made in August got cancelled a week before the run.

"No room at the inn" commonly heard in Mumbai this time of the year.

But I the worrier, had an alternate hotel booked for such eventualities.

 for it was my turn to play. 

Maybe I was meant to go after all.

More unsure than ever.

DNF or DNS

DNS seemed cowardly 

DNF, if, seemed to be acceptance of what I truly deserved.

That is how I made my way to the start point on that warm January morning.

Humbling as ever, a full marathon can never be taken for granted.

Grateful for ever, to strangers who came to support and volunteer and cheer us on.

I did not DNF. 

That by itself was a huge achievement having gone through a year of no strengthening, running and conditioning 

I finished with a smile.

That only means one thing!

Mumbai I will be back!!!
Gratitude!