Small Is The New Large

I walk across the clothes aisle in the department stores.
I finally find something I like!
I hold it up against me! Size is perfect.
Look at the size tag- XL!

Anyone who looks at me would never say am an XL.
In the Americas,15 years ago, I shopped in the petite or kids section.
Yes childbirth, mommydom and age have made me gain 5 kgs but at 45 I'm fitter, fabber today than I ever was.
I would wear an XL yes, being the " its baggy, lets both fit in together" person!

When I sign up for races, I place an order for XL size event Tees,
sometimes going as far as to request a Men's XL and altering the length alone!!

What changed over the years.
What made the sizes go off the chart!  Size 0 is glorified, but that has become smaller than XS size.
When I place clothes purchased 10 years ago alongside clothes purchased now with same size tags, I notice the old Small is now equivalent to the new Large.

It is a good thing I have a very positive self image and do not worry about fitting clothes and labels.
But I do worry for people who do.
the pressure it puts on the young adults who are governed by the society and its fashion norms.  

I see the same trend in the Std X board exams.
Last year I realised scoring 90% marks were not difficult.
This year I understood scoring the same was easy.

Everyone you meet or hear about has a happy smile and proudly mention their final scores.
During the 80's the same ICSE board exams were considered a nightmare for many.
If you scored a 70 % you were considered good, anything above 80% you stood a good chance of being a school topper! 

Fast forward to May 2019!
Am yet to hear of any of my daughter's friends talk about an average below 85%
and my daughter the 10th grader, who struggled through her whole year, with no support - internal or external, managed to spend 3 months of the whole year working on the subjects, did not touch any of the subjects' exam guides, past question papers or every other passed down advice and scored a happy average. Which 5 years ago, would have been enough to be a school topper.
Today that is the new class average! 

The glorification of marks and the giving away of marks by the examination boards!
When did scoring a 99 % in languages become so common?
Are we all grooming perfectionists? 

The 90s used to be 80s
Sadly
Small is the new Large

City of Dreams

"London streets are paved with Gold"
This I read as a kid and imagined what the streets would look like. Yes, did want to visit at that time. My father the traveling man, brought me a Queen's Guards Doll from his visit to London. He had a gold tipped staff. That was the closest I got to the streets of Gold.

A year later I read Shashi Deshpande's " The Only Witness" I would have been 9 years old and loved her few books, she was like the Indian Enid Blyton! and the kids were like the Famous Five!
This book had an opening line" So this is Bombay" I equated Bombay to London.

Small town girl that I was, all these were exciting. The only big city we would visit was Chennai, which seemed small with large gatherings of cousins.

Visits to Srilanka to visit grandparents for summer holidays were exciting, but never the adventure that I read about.
Soon enough I too became a city girl, seeing Delhi for the first time, Wide eyed,
but the pain of commuting to work everyday, dulled the excitement.

And then came more cities.
Mumbai remained my City of Dreams! Till one clandestine weekend trip to meet my unapproved of boyfriend.
So this was Bombay!
It was not what I imagined, the high rises, the slums were as I had read, but the crowds, the heat, the trains were not!

Still I did love the city and the 2 days of life I lived!

My fiancee ( Yes, our marriage by then had got my parents approval) then moved to London, from Bombay.
Again I hoped to get a piece of gold! He brought me back more than gold! still the streets eluded me.
Marriage took me to Bombay. Life on my own terms. And a love for the city.
It made many dreams reality!
I loved the city. But left too soon.

All other visits, remained short, need based, hectic, with no time to relive my dreams. 'Shantaram' awakened in me a yearning for the city, the life and the people who were always helpful.
Till the summer of 2019.
A much needed break after the exams. I decided to show my children what the city had to offer- a whirlwind two day trip to my city of dreams.

We stayed in a lovely Airbnb just behind the Taj Mahal Palace hotel!
Am not one for opulence, more of convenience,
The location was ideal, with the Gateway of India towering over us as we stepped out of our stay. The famous shops of Colaba Causeway right next to us.

We walked a lot! Everywhere! Ate a lot of food. Enjoyed the history and art and architecture all around us. Drove on roads I had previously run on, I could not believe the distances I had covered on foot!  Realised a marathon is no mean feat!

Day 1

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Cafe Mondegar for lunch- amazing pasta, the most delicious chicken roulade, fries with everything and more!
A long ride over the Bandra Worli Sea link to Bandra Church - which earlier I had only run on during TMM, now a nice easy drive!
Back for some ice creams and a walk down to the Gateway of India and its history,
Rush down to Nariman Point for the sunset and the crowds.Walk down to CST to see the lights!  WE walked!
Back to Bademiya for a hearty meal! The crowds and the price shocked us. A small roadside eatery with fancy cars parked and their bonnets serving as tables!
Tired and back to the room for much needed sleep.

Day 2

Morning saw us walk down for breakfast to Theobrama to stuff ourselves!

Back again to the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vastu Sangrahalaya museum which was a wonderful experience.

Museums remind you of our glorious past-and we decided to make a trip soon to Gujarat to see the ruins of the Harappan civilisation.
We walked around till we reached Flora Fountain, the pile of books all around us.
The old University of Mumbai and the huge clock tower!
Khala Ghoda and the artsy surroundings.
Everything held in awe. 
Leopold Cafe for lunch. With the terrorist attack still being talked about there. 
Much needed rest and back to Nariman Point for a good sunset!
Rush to the Hanging gardens of Mumbai,and Kamala Nehru park for the view of the Queen's Necklace.
And it was worth it!

Back to Bademiya for their much hyped rolls. All other restaurants on the causeway were full! We had no choice!! A nice walk in the night along Strand Road and the view of boats parked their for the night.

Day 3


The next morning- an early morning drive along Nariman Point and a walk along Chowpatty beach. Sunday is a rest day made holy by visiting some churches.
We visited Wesleyan methodist church and its pipe organ and the Holy Name Cathedral - with its history and lovely architecture and arches! Stopped at the old Afghan church which was unfortunately closed by 10:00 am on Sunday. But it was lovely and quiet just sitting outside in the yard!
Grabbed lunch from Theobrama and made our way to the airport!
Thus ended a whirlwind tour of the city of my dreams.

And someday the streets paved with gold will welcome me!

DNF vs DNS

A running related blog

A runner's nightmare.

Have done both and both still give me nightmares before race day.

TMM requires registration in July for a race to be run in January. That would mean giving a runner sufficient time to train and get ready from 10 K to half 

marathon or a half marathon a full marathon. Or just get to be better half or full marathoners.

It is all about planning. Time management and training.

A planner, a worrier, a scheduler and a person with immense will power, I allowed circumstances to get the better of me.

2018 was my worst running year.

I did not put in sufficient mileage during the year for any race.

Did not train enough for any event. 

Did not register for sufficient events through the year.

Did not show up for those that I had registered.

So a DNF fear was top of my mind when TMM time was around the calendar. 

2018 had me start the year with TMM. 

A struggle to the finish with the Mumbai weather controlling my run.

DNS at Goa Marathon and Auroville Marathon in February due to a medical situation at home. 

No running at all in February because of the same. 
One situation can throw everything off track!! 

Stopped all gym workouts due to lack of sleep and rest. 

This spilled over into March with hospital visits and tests and more exam related stress.

Finally some relief in April with exams getting over, but still sleepless nights.

More doctors and hospitals in the summer. 

A date change in the TCS 10k and a last minute entry. 

Sudden rush of training runs for a week.

To finish in the top 50 women and 8th in my age group.

https://www.sportstimingsolutions.in/results.php

Then back to routine, 

a stress injury, more of mind related stress, causing a stress fracture. 

Yet another medical set back at home. 

Maybe both were related.

Another break in running.

Come July, a greedy need to sign up for an event.

Kind of instigating karma around me to see what would happen if I did sign up for an event.

That is how TMM 2019 registration happened.

Running providing mental relief whenever I did.

Body struggling with lack of sleep, work related stress, worries on the home front. 
Medical needs and emotional needs of children to be met! 

Yet determined to run.

Last minute sign up for the half marathon at SPBM in October.

Things looked a little calm on the home front. 

Confidence to step out early mornings. 

Again running without sufficient training. 

Just to appease the running demons inside me.

Finishing 4th in my age group. A surprise.

Maybe all the stress and pent up frustration were working well for me.

November rains, brought KTM my favourite race.

Undecided to go, yet showed up not wanting another DNS this year.

Sweet victory, 

unfair on those who had trained and worked hard, but rewarding for all the tears and struggles that had built up within me. 

No more I told myself.

I could not sign up for any more events in 2019 without giving an event the respect it deserved.

But TMM had to happen.

or would it be a DNS.

A full is not twice half. Universal truth.

Fate plays dirty games.

A hotel booking made in August got cancelled a week before the run.

"No room at the inn" commonly heard in Mumbai this time of the year.

But I the worrier, had an alternate hotel booked for such eventualities.

 for it was my turn to play. 

Maybe I was meant to go after all.

More unsure than ever.

DNF or DNS

DNS seemed cowardly 

DNF, if, seemed to be acceptance of what I truly deserved.

That is how I made my way to the start point on that warm January morning.

Humbling as ever, a full marathon can never be taken for granted.

Grateful for ever, to strangers who came to support and volunteer and cheer us on.

I did not DNF. 

That by itself was a huge achievement having gone through a year of no strengthening, running and conditioning 

I finished with a smile.

That only means one thing!

Mumbai I will be back!!!
Gratitude!