When Two Become One

A shrouded figure moves from within the covered balcony. 

Stretching, moving listlessly. 

Sleep not yet separated from him. 

Shrugs the blanket away and moves into the tiny room behind.

Comes out with a  cup of something steaming in his hand.

The steam hazy in the distance, warms his soul.

The hot drink, awakening his senses.

Drags a blanket over his shoulders to keep his body warm. 

He sits on the one chair atop the balcony.

and stares into the skies, wondering... waiting.... hoping..... 

Blank, Still. 

The height a vantage point to look down on the world rushing by.

 

Till he has his fill of the drink and he is ready to face the day

Alone!

Everyday......

 

Absence of the figure, makes me wonder!

Has he left for warmer climes? 

Has he found a covered room?

Suddenly I see, not one but two.

The figures rising from beneath the covered sheets seem to smile.

Coy, she adjusts her saree around her head.

She walks into the room behind. 

He jumps up and stretches, a smile to welcome the new day.

 

She comes with one cup of something steaming.

The steam warming the two of them.

 

He sits in the one chair with his legs spread out.

leaving just enough space for one more

She fits in daintily into the tiny space.

the one blanket now wrapped around two

she sips and hands over the cup to him.

They both smile as he takes a sip.

His senses are wide awake, 

His soul is brimming with love.

 

They sit quietly, sometimes whispering into each other,

Oblivious to anyone around.

 

The sun-light plays on their faces, making them giggle.

They get up from their loveseat, holding onto each other, 

Now both ready to face the world!
 

Maybe this is what they call love!!!

No Clouds In My Sky

Every runner has good days and some bad days while training for an event.

The strength of a runner lies in never forgetting the reason he/ she started running.

When I signed up for the Mumbai Marathon in July 2016 for a run to be scheduled in January 2017, never did I expect to fail at one big run in-between.

It made me doubt my capabilities and preparedness for a road race, though my goal was far from racing! 

I decided if I wanted to continue running for a long time, it would require me to focus on building strength and hence,  little thinking and a lot of money later, I signed up at a fitness centre close to work.

Standard Charted Mumbai marathon is considered the Mecca for runners. Never having done one of those, I was determined not to go so far and fail at something as simple as running

Tickets were booked, friends were contacted, training plan was in place.

and training was on!!! 

I was happy with the support I was receiving from my trainer at the fitness centre and I felt good!

As always, Murphy decided I was not to be in charge of my life and threw a curveball my way!! 

Disappointment hit me, running saved me from binge eating and turning into a sloth bear during the cold winter mornings.!!

I decided to continue my training! 

Lost a lot of money due to tickets being non refundable, the registration fee non refundable!

But running without focusing on an event and training for something without the pressure of an event looming ahead is a different experience.

Being busy with a family function and stressful situations, did not deter me.

Though I did not follow a rigid plan that I would have if it were a race, yet, i tried to stick to most of the days.

The decision to run a 42.2 on my own, was a fleeting thought one day during one early morning run!! What if I ran a full marathon just for myself??

So, the weekend I should have been traveling and participating in a dream run across the sea, instead of waking up at unearthly hours to catch an early morning flight, I woke up to run!

The newly cemented roads were wet! 

The complex was dimly light during the cold, gray winter morning.

Running outside on the road is not a safe option for a lone woman runner and have never been comfortable running on my own after few bad experiences! Better safe than sorry!

I laced my shoes and took my head torch, a jacket to keep me warm and started running!

I had water and electral and few running gels and salt pills placed strategically!

I recalled the words I had read:

''Forty-two kilometers. But they are just numbers. One step at a time. One breath at a time” Adharanand Finn

It was quiet,the silences magnifying the shoes tapping on the road, the headlight bobbing up and down casting shadows on the wet cement as I ran. 

I ran

Alone!

Used to doing all my runs on my own, this was nothing new, but never have I run a distance beyond 35 KMS in silence.

Would I hit the wall, would I cramp, what if people stopped me to chat?

Music in my ears, keeping me calm!

30 kms was doable, I had not trained beyond a 30, during this training phase!

I entered distances I had not run in a while!

It was not easy anymore!! 

Doubts started creeping in, 

was I stupid to try something which was considered sacred by many and just decide to run?

Would it be possible to run without the cheering crowds to push you to the finish?

When doubts start creeping in, the difficulty levels exponentially rise and pain surges through your limbs!! 

I had a friend for  company over phone as I ran! He kept track of me to ensure I was still running and was still ok.

35 KMS had me hopeful, I could do this with a little push!! 

I went into  run walk mode and pushed myself to run!!

there are no km markers, there are no finish lines, there are no crowds calling your name, there are no drummers and musicians cheering you on!

I could have stopped, I had nothing to prove to anyone, I had no medals waiting for me, no photographers to frame my moment of glory, no placards to goad me on!

All you have as you run is your heart and soul and the fire in your legs!!!

Touching 40 kms felt like heaven! I realised my pace was steady and I could complete in less than 5 hours if I pushed myself to complete the last 2 km.

People were now walking, cleaning, watching, staring!

I gave it my all and finished! 42.25 kms inside a building! Round the block about 110 times! 

I did not collapse, I did not cry! 

I smiled!!!

''Surrender yourself to running like a God, give it your all, and expect nothing in return...and then you'll get more than you thought possible'' Scott Jurek

My personal marathon

“A hymn to the spirit, to the heartbreaking beauty of tenacity, to the joy of movement.”

Hello Hello

A year goes by.

We stuck to a few resolutions made at the beginning of the year, some helped us be better people, some never saw themselves 2 months into the year.

Some came back to remind us in December when everyone was talking about resolutions. 

Resolutions are made to be broken say some!!!

 

When a parents' health suffers, few major compromises in life had to be made. 

My children gained independence, while I had to give up mine.

 

End of year posts are mostly very sentimental with thoughts of losses and gains.

 

So I ditched my year end post and am now looking forward to a new year. 

Nothing changes for me.

I am still a crazy mom, an irresponsible daughter, a confused parent, a kind friend. Am still the person I was.

But I welcome the new year, because it will bring in plenty of surprises. Maybe new friends, new relationships, old friends, stronger relationships!

New places, new roads. Old destinations, better memories........

 

I made my goals for the year early on, just 4 days into the year and 2 of them are not going to be met. I should be upset, was for a while, but I shake the feeling and continue doing what it takes to have met that goal.

I dont lose anything!! Gain lot more in the immediate present and in the long term.

 

The peace that I found from letting go, has made me a wiser person this year. 

Mistakes of my past, regrets from years gone by will never haunt me! 

 

My mantra for this year is to practice kindness.

 

For a poetry lover this poem reflects the true meaning of life goes on.

The various stages of our lives so well represented. So peaceful and so calming 

 

And out again I curve and flow 
To join the brimming river, 
For men may come and men may go, 
But I go on for ever.

Extracted from 'The Brook' by Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

Looking forward to a year filled with hope, passion, love, courage and good cheer. And Kindness!!! And Magic........