Roses, roses all the way

The past week was as hectic as they come by.

Most days were mechanical, just moving along as they day progressed.

Several deeply introspective conversations. Sitting on the other side of the table, but  basic nature still prevails. The questioning, the need to know.

Not once or twice but five times over. And more to come.

Still unsure how it will all conclude.

Work pressures peaking.  The only time in the year where my work matters most.

A niggling right foot injury and the inability to run, but running does not work for me when over stressed!!!

Exams and the associated tension at home.

Assignments to complete in a course which will eventually mean more than what it is right now.

A birthday to plan in between the chaos.

And the promise which remained broken.

To remain positive through all that we never speak about, yet keep that smile in place.

Spring in all its glory arrived between sleep and dawn.

To find time:

  And the faith that this too shall pass and all will be well.

Fuschia Skies

To my tween on her birthday

I was never a tween, that was not a phrase which existed when I was 12.

We were too busy having fun growing up that it did not matter what we were called!

So here as a tween,  in this device driven life, here comes some simple words to help the terrible teens pass by easily.

The golden rule :

Words which Ella(Cinderella to the ones without daughters)  lived by:

And the rest follow

Be comfortable in your own skin

This is the age when your body changes and it becomes unfamiliar. Clothes which once seemed comfortable now feel confining.

Weight gain and acne become common. Accept it, this is part of the growing up process.

Live within the means

Some parents have plenty and some struggle to manage to provide the basic needs.

It is the age where we look at others and want more than we need.

Understand that we have enough to manage but remember that we need to make it last.

Family matters

We mean everything and they mean well. They want the best for you.

Believe them when they say it’s good for you. And when they say it’s not!

Love your sister

She is your best friend, and will always be.

Even when your other best friends walk away, you can trust her to comfort you.

Be passionate

Have a dream, follow it, slowly over the years.

Be what you want to be, but follow it with passion.

Dress like a girl!

Mommy's dresses are for when you are her age! Wear pretty colours, short cropped tops, flared skirts, pants, polka dots!  Dress up and feel good!

Exercise

It goes a long way in maintaining a positive attitude and a genuine smile.

Start young to stay disciplined. The early mornings keep you energetic through the day!

“How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives,” Annie Dillard

Morning always comes

 Anyone who watches Grey’s anatomy would probably be doing it for the handsome male  doctors and the sexy female doctors.

Or if they had a thirst to revel in drama of the highest degree and have a penchant for blood, pain and suffering.

There is so much of confusion in an ER when an accident occurs and patients in various stages of suffering are brought in.

Doctors rushing, family crying.

Yes, you can even smell the antiseptic and tear up a bit as you watch it unfolding in front of you on the small screen.

And so it was that those were the thoughts as I walked into the ER late on a Wednesday night.

Please note: I walked in and did not rush in, get wheeled in or get carted in.

Incidents which led to an ER visit.

A tiring day. Yet another one of those. Never ending, just waiting to get home, not because you are done with your work, but would like to relax and stretch out and continue the work!

But it was not to be.

Stressed out due to reasons unknown, needing fresh air, some endorphin highs, I stepped out for a walk.

But not before I had completed 3 essays on “My favorite vacation spot”, “My favorite beach holiday” and “My favorite hill station”

Why would a teacher ask a 11 year old to write 3 different but similar essays.  She was tired, confused and not interested. So I stepped in.

And Stepped out soon after.

The walk and cool night air was invigorating.

Back home after a shower and dinner I decided to start work while the girls finished their studies.

But it was not meant to be!!!!

I still believe in the pen and paper method when it comes to writing down what goes on in my mind.

This failed, since my handwriting over the years has deteriorated to the extent, there are occasions when I cannot read what I have written!!

So my daughter laboriously tried to read my notes and paraphrase them into her essay.

An accident and the paper she was just finishing, ripped apart as she moved it!!

Tears were welling, it was 10:00 pm already and she was tired too.

So I gave up my laptop and sat with her to help her with her essays . As I read, she wrote.

We managed to finish by 11:20 pm, by which she had a throbbing headache - the reading glasses she is supposed to wear conspicuously absent while she did her writing!

We cleared up the table and went to bed, all thoughts of work forgotten.

I took some liquid painkiller and decided to rub it on her forehead to relieve her of her headache.

While lovingly caressing her ( she is my little pet) it accidentally spilled and splashed into her eye!!

No she did not cry, she could not, the pain and burning sensation was so bad she could not scream. She bit her lips and whimpered.

I felt helpless. I who always thought I could be a dinosaur mom was tearing up seeing her whimper.

I took her to the bathroom slowly and washed out her eyes as best as I could.

The medicine burns when applied on skin, I could not imagine the pain she must have been going through.

She patiently trusted me to do the right thing all the time in pain.

Finally we decided it was not helping and the fear of something more serious and damaging made me decide on a visit to the ER.

Calling up my brother, by now it was 11:40 pm, we quickly dressed and decided to go to Manipal hospital.

It was a pleasant experience, yes there were lot of crying and red eyes around the lounge.

The pediatrics ward was quitter and quick!

The doctor not a Grey's guy but definitely nice!

We were comforted that there was nothing damaging to the eye and to rest it and wash it regularly. And antibiotic was prescribed and we were out in 20 mins.

Was a relief to be able to come home and sleep knowing that she would be ok.

Slept in late, missed my morning work-out.

My daughter was forced to stay home from a headache and insufficient sleep and blurry vision.

She is now fine as I write this, a days rest curing her of her headache and sufficient shut eye, clearing her vision.

And yes, I am too, now, but the pain of seeing your little one ( she will always remain my little one) be brave, wrenched my heart!

 

Thank God for doctors! They are our guardian angels who live amongst us mortals!!

Being Woman! Be Woman!

International Women’s day is always occasion for the women to rise and claim our position in  society, declare our independence and explore our passions. How much of all this is possible if the men  in our lives and around us in the society we live in do not support us.

Here’s to all the women and men in my lives!

Thank you, for being a pillar of support when I needed, for letting go of my hand and leaving me to fend for myself, for guiding me when I was lost.

Here are some words of wisdom I learnt through my joys and sorrows.

You deserve happiness!

Very often I hear my women friends talk of sacrificing their personal happiness to ensure they are around parents and children, putting up with all that comes their way at work worrying it may affect their work recognitions. Being taken for granted by everyone around you, because you fear saying No.

It is good, but when there are others to do the same, it is perfectly fine to let others take charge too If that is your calling, so be it, be happy doing it without a murmur of discontent.

Don’t be a martyr and stop living your life.  You have a right to be happy.

I sought it, every time I went out on a weekend trip with my friends, went out for my morning runs. When I said No at work when I knew it would take away my time from my family, I paved my way for my happiness! 

You deserve that merit!

Don’t let others take it away from you and do not belittle your efforts.

You need recognition for the work you do, for the way you raise your kids and accept the praise with gratitude and pride.

I worked hard to get where I am and will not allow others to take away from me the small pleasures that I get from a word of praise!  From efforts made, from what my children have achieved.

You are beautiful.

Many expect perfection, talk to you because of your perfect figure, but that is temporary.

Be aware of your inner beauty, that shines out even when all else fails.

Lose weight if need be to stay healthy and fit, not to please that person who thinks you are fat.

Lose the negative thoughts about yourself and change them to transform you into  the diva that you are.

Look into the mirror of your eyes and those of the ones who truly love you and your radiance will surely shine through.

You are a fighter!

You can never be beaten, women are made of stronger stuff. A Phoenix!

Tough times never last as long as a women’s resilience!  Remember! Tears are not a sign of weakness, smiles are our weapon.

Yes, there are still a lot of things we need to fight for in the society, but remember it is a better world today than it was 10 years ago.

We leave a better world for our daughters and our sons to learn and live in.

From being told by home owners that they never thought I would be able to pay rent on time for being a divorced woman, to being questioned on how I would bring up my kids or being asked if I was living off a hefty alimony!  I put the doubters aside and worked hard.

My support and strength have been my children and my parents! My friends who believed in me and stood by me! My bosses who gave me the freedom to explore and learn and support me.

This women’s day I took a vow to be the person I strive to be and stand up for what I believe in.

To be there for those who respect me and accept me and walk away from that which takes away my happiness.