Flipped

"Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end"

That is how my life was in the late ‘90’s

Wonderful days and nights filled with friends, music, laughter, studies all in a “to die for” location.

Goa:

2 glorious years where I spent doing my Masters education.

Where I first fell in love.

Being away from home during graduation, I realized having fun was meant to be.

Back in school in the small town I grew up in, Valentine’s day was never a big deal. 

Boy knows girl, girl knows boy, big deal!!

But while at college, things get more serious.

Roses and gifts and chocolates are exchanged,  secret notes left, some have  longing looks and there are disdainful moments as well.

Never being serious, I had my moments of fun, chasing, being chased, laughing about it all.

Then the move to Goa, changed things for the non-believer.

I who thought love was only for the weak hearted, I who enjoyed the company of every guy I met and could never believe one could commit to another, “Flipped”

The first Valentine’s Day at Goa, was spent winning the popularity contest and getting to have dinner with one of my favorite seniors.

Next year things changed!

I was a one man woman!

I was in love!

Every waking moment was spent in the company of the One.

I who never missed being first at the dining table, now waited patiently for the One to finish his classes to join me for dinner.

With our second Valentine’s day on campus, came the usual nonsensical competitions.

This one was a couples event. A “how well do you know your partner” contest.

Followed by a heady, sensual couples game of “ twister”

And the winning contest: a proposal.

And that clinched the award.

In front of the whole audience under the starlight skies, with Basanti’s tower as witness, I was proposed to in great sincerity.

And of course I accepted!

And of course we won!

Best couple on campus!!

At that moment no thoughts were given if the marriage would ever take place considering the diverse family and societies we came from.

No thoughts were given to the fact that our parents and siblings did not know about what had just taken place.

We celebrated the moment.

Everything we did together was a First!

We enjoyed each other, we were on top of the world.

 For the curious ones:

Yes, after several roadblocks, we eventually got married.

We had 2 beautiful daughters.

But fate or call it whatever you may, decided differently and we went our separate ways.

Today, am older, wiser and have a strong reign over my heart.

The passion and letting go are in control.

This does not make me a non-believer, this does not make me doubt the feeling of being in love.

It makes me caution and question the intent and the depth.

It would make me hold back till I am ready to give in.

This note is dedicated to all who believe that it can happen.

And also to all who think love is for the weak.

It is a wonderful feeling- the passion, the joy, the pain that come with it, the stolen moments.

"I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. 
Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change.” 
- Somaly Mam, Author

To all who fall in love and celebrate the day as lovers-

Happy Valentine’s Day!
 
the song whose lyrics open this note is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyaTIXdN5fI 

White Noise

What is it that makes people think about themselves more than they do about others.

When someone asks me “how have you been” are they ready for my verbose description of how bad my day has been, the  series of unfortunate events I came across that day, how wonderful I feel, how great my kids were or are they just being polite and expect me the same from me.

But then, there are those who cannot wait for you to reply, they seem to have their reasons to have asked.

It starts off either with how wonderful their day was, what major achievements they have accomplished, how good they  have been and so on and so forth- all they need from you is to respond positively once in a while.

And little do they realize, that you have not said anything and have now lost all interest in the conversation and just playing along since you are a “nice person”

They are so full of themselves, constantly emphasizing on the “I”, Myself” ,“Mine” and “Me”.

Will they ever learn- the etiquette of communication.

Listen, understand, empathize, share.

Do they realize that their daily worries and accomplishments leaves me the listener drained out and has me seeking out a listening ear. Elsewhere….

Is this relationship meant to be or should it fizzle and die out before it becomes bitter and strained?

Or do we sit and talk it out and make the other person understand what the conversation lacks? Will they ever listen?

Or do I live with  this “White noise” in my head!

Walk with me for a while, my friend --you in my shoes, I in yours -- and then let us talk.

- Richelle E. Goodrich –